the week thus far...in a disjointed manner

I don't update on here, yet I obsessively check other blogs I read. It is the only thing left I can use to procrastinate other than eating and sleeping.
I have things going on in my life. things other than the usual eating, sleeping, working, class, and homework. things that make my body thrum inside with something between anxiety and anticipation. I want to write about things but have been reminded recently that things that I talk about, that I feel connected to and obliterated or driven by are not always my things alone to talk about...so existential crises aside...
I guess if I was truly aware I would be feeling this feeling all the time. because what happens in our lives is fragile and easily changed, however it is difficult to remember things can change when you exist in the routine of work and school and sleep.
food
too busy or too lazy to cook. yesterday was chipotle...mmmm. because I didn't have any cilantro at home, I needed to go out.
last night I went to bed very early to see if it would make today better. I set my alarm for 5:45pm accidently and then woke up at 7:30am, so that didn't really work.
I hate the feeling of guilt that accompanies an evening wherein I sit on the couch and have a beer instead of writing a paper. maybe I should have had beer and a paper. maybe I should have another and start that paper now.