Tuesday, February 22, 2005

not that I think I am special....

but I keep having these minor breakdowns trying to get 4 classes worth of work done over the weekend. I feel like the people I am hanging out with (stupid CCM) just have time to do what they like and I start to feel bitter about having a day job. Then what I realized this weekend was the only thing I ever really get done is that which is immediately due monday night. sad that it took me 7 weeks into a 10 week quarter to figure out that gem. the rough part is not having any time to do anything fun. (or even do any laundry --now that is sad) I keep making plans and thinking I will have fun on the weekend and then the enormity of the work I need to accomplish smacks me in the head and I start to cancel plans and pout about how overwhelming it all is. This leads to forced inactivity. Where not only do I have more to accomplish in two days than is humanly possible but I also am sitting on the futon with a book open on my lap thinking about day time tv and wishing I had better cable.
my new wisdom is existentialism...which I can never seriously embrace as I am obsessed with time and with my grades. so instead I will just try to finish my papers the day before they are due and have the usual meltdown during the week before finals week. do you remember going to school when you used to get a couple days off before finals for studying...yeah that doesn't exist anymore. and for grad school all of my final projects are due the week before finals. ( I think the profs are lazy and don't want to grade these long ass projects over one weekend when grades are due in on monday)
so along with a meltdown last weekend I went to a piano recital, went hiking and to the cool ben folds concert. I also did all my reading for monday and my presentation. not too bad. now I just have to get on it for the stuff due wednesday....

No comments: