Saturday, April 09, 2005

you know

when you are at a restaurant, out with friends or at a party...and things are going so nice, and someone keeps your glass filled a little higher than you would normally fill with cabernet sauvignon, and keeps it filled often, without that little breather or water break you think of taking. instead of water you drink beer cause mmm, beer is refreshing. all is well and you feel fine. that is until you are home sitting on your own couch, looking into your own refrigerator, pouring yourself a big glass of water, then you realize that your lips feel tingly and warm and maybe you drank more than you had thought. the nice warm buzz hits you at 1am when you were just preparing to go to bed. maybe this was there before but the new environment, and the interesting company, and your crazy talking self made the distance seem hazy between the fuzzy drinking you, and the sober eating you.
I have such a mouth that I sometimes would rather blame the alcohol for my tendency to tell silly stories or make blunt comments, but really they happen before my first sip. I am me, blunt and honest without any drink. That is why I told my professor exactly what I thought of her class, and that is why I often dwell later on the things I said, or others said, the tone of voice, the inflection and glance associated with every phrase. The wine this evening just adds a glow of warm contentment to my night with friends, but the conversation has not been altered.

No comments: