engaged

engaged engaging whatever
michael came back from tour tonight and proposed to me "proposed what" ...my dad said.
engagement
yikes
ack!
now what?
well mari came by with champagne, cheese and crackers (what a nice friend) we chatted and enjoyed the night. Now I am blogging (god I hate that as a verb) and michael is sitting by me playing the guitar.

I was ready to jump out of my skin at work today. So excited that he was coming home. Now I am slightly drunk from champagne and red wine. A lot more chill than I was when he proposed....not on one knee ...but after listening to me bitch about going away for over a month and bringing me back a ben & jerry's t-shirt. A t-shirt...you leave your girlfriend for a month and come back without jewelry. The only prize I get is a t-shirt. Yes I am grateful for a t-shirt but are you kidding me?
only then does he give me a box and says fine. I was going to wait 'til later but if you are that impatient...here. tosses a wrapped box in my lap. the guilt is overwhelming...but I still open it.
inside is a silver and amber ring and he ask me to marry him. Are you for real? (I can't tell you how many times I asked that...marriage is so hypothetical to me)
So now I am engaged.
and after freaking out...shaking...trying not to cry...losing my appetite (like most annoying skinny girls) I called my parents, my siblings...he called his parents...I got drunk with a friend. And now I feel great. no fear. I can do this ...in a couple of years

empty excitement

I have become addicted to blogs this summer. It started in July when I was still in class and got horribly worse in August when michael left for tour and classes ended. It got so bad that as I wandered through my day and my empty apartment I started to think like I was writing a blog. My internal monologue was less obscured and more patterned for an audience. I began to check on my favorites to see if they had posted every time I walked past the computer. It was similar to an email I received from deborah once that said "you know you are an email slave when you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed". So yesterday, when I finally succumbed and started my own blog I was weirdly excited. My heart was beating faster like I was in front of an audience, and accordingly I completely ran out of things to say. So today I started writing about nothing and this already seems long to me. I guess I will never run out of things to say.

not a word

yes I looked it up...uncollaborative is not a word. But it best describes my view right now. After completing a class required for my sped degree called education as the collaborative co-learner I know that I am uncollaborative. I like it that way.