the weekend debriefing

I feel like I should do a boring weekend recap. Partly because I have been posting pretty regularly and partly because I am on the "left" coast. (a quote from one of Michael's many high school friends) and I feel that I should try to keep in touch with any east (or right) coast friends that read this.

So, the obligatory bullet point weekend retrospective:

Friday afternoon

• ADR work for some random crime movie (this entails doing silly voice overs for crowd scenes of movies to sound like the crowd) Hooked up through Michael's dad's childhood friend (said in a Long Island, New York Italian accent "from da neighborhood") received checks (woohoo! not quite as poor)[I don't know what ADR stands for, though Michael tells me the R stands for Recording and I told him I thought the A stood for Audio, and he said no)
  
• Dinner with friends-lots of yummy food, an apartment that is gorgeously decorated, and a glass of red wine unceremoniously dumped on my linen beach pants (picture this: me and a good looking young man, a camera comes out and someone wants a picture of us we move together and he moves to swiftly run his fingers through his hair, swings his arm around abruptly and slams the bottom of my wine glass, the glass goes flying into the air--along with its newly poured contents all over the apartment (and my pants) with itty bitty shards of broken glass. Lucky me, these people are so cool there was a quick clean up, and a pair of drawstring replacement pants, as well as a new drink. Yay!)

Saturday

• I am lazy; Michael goes to a recording session.
  
• We both attend a children's community theatre production of Annie! (doesn't it deserve the exclamation point, just like E!)
• Go out for Mexican food, and a show break down (synopsis: cute kids, glad we went to see the one we know, Daddy Gaybucks may have some actual talent if he can lose the sibilant S)

Sunday

• I am still lazy; Michael goes to another recording session.
• Grocery shopping, laundry, bill paying
  
• cable television (including the movie The United States of Leland--quite intense, lots of names)
  
• preparation for tomorrow: lunch making, mapquesting, paperwork preparation

In complete retrospect:
Oh, my, god, Sunday was boring, why did I even include it?
I am obsessed with commas and parentheses (am I not?)
I need to learn how to make stories like the wine incident sound funnier (I mean it isn't often you go home from a dinner party wearing another man's pants.)

I finished a really good book A Child in Time, by Ian McEwan
I really didn't want to start this book because my stress was begging for a Devil Wears Prada, type of cushy girl reading. Instead I got desperate and ploughed on through as is typical for me when I am short on reading materials. (of course my copy is from the library)

Here is my favorite quote:

"To have a destination, a place where you were expected, a shred of identity, was such a relief after a month of game shows and Scotch. To show his pass to the familiar taciturn guard, to saunter across the marble hall among well-dressed, self-important people, to penetrate deep into the building, knowing without giving the matter a thought which staircases and corridors to take, to arrive at just the room and make small talk with colleagues, to sip coffee from the plastic cups bearing the ministry's stamp, bought from a machine in the corridor that dispensed onion soup down the same nozzle -- it was for little repetitions like these that people kept their jobs, however dull. It was all Stephen could do to refrain from bursting into song."(p. 155)

In one paragraph, my life, the last month full of television and wine versus the previous years of alarm clocks and office work, summed up. I can't wait to be back to the bored me that knows how to get places and who will be there when I arrive. Then I can add my own drama through weekend trips around the city or out of town.

picture pages picture pages

Here are more pictures.

First my new apartment
with my itty bitty kitchen
Check out the photo set here

Next some snaps of the dress

and me taking ridiculous pictures of myself in it.
See more here,
because I am sure you need multiple blurry pictures of a fluffy (off) white dress.

road trip photos

I uploaded pictures to flickr of our 5 day trip across the U.S. from Eastern Pennsylvania to Los Angeles. They are in a set called driving cross country.



Get excited for lots and lots of highway pictures, lots and lots of pictures of clouds from the passenger window. Wow, in one boring stroke I bring back the vacation style slide show which I know only from sitcoms and that one episode of the Simpsons.

evil things, good things

I just got off the phone with the certificated personnel HR lady. She now informs me (not really a surprise but irritating nonetheless) that she doesn't expect to hear from the state for 3-4 weeks. Hmm, that would be after school starts, and after all my training and orientation. Oh, she has new information...if it doesn't go through I can reapply for an emergency certification or for a one year certification, but they like to wait to hear about the full on certification first. Good of her to tell me this now. Then she says the contract will only be for one year (at this point does she think I care, whether it is for one year or ten, I just want the paycheck and the stability). I am taking this to mean that no matter what the first outcome, I will have a job (just not an ongoing contract). I will also take this to mean that when they deny my cool person certification I will have to go get another money order for $55 and try to get another kind of not as cool person certificate. She didn't say that, I just believe that is what will occur. I would love to be able to have one conversation that involves all the required information and not some half-assed version.

the good things?
I also just got off the phone with my former landlord, who apologized repeatedly and told me he is putting my security deposit in the mail tomorrow. This was fine with me, because now I know it is coming and it is coming to my new address.

I started a blog at blogsome under the same name. I think I might move over there because it looks like an easy way to categorize posts. I'll have to see how lazy I am about actually setting it up. You should check it out if you are interested in a banner that has cute puppies. Other than that there is not much going on over there.

Are you watching Project Runway tonight? Do you hope neck tattoo leaves just so you don't have to look at his neck tattoo any longer? Do you have a fun group of people that you watch with or do you have your own version of Michael who will be falling asleep on the aforementioned comfy IKEA chair when he is not to busy making fun of my taste in reality television. If it were up to him we would be watching World Poker Tournament all the time.

thoughts on L.A.

There is something in the water that makes all dogs purse sized. (or punt sized)

the healthy and creative pact

Michael has proposed (starting yesterday) that we each try to do one healthy thing and one creative thing each day. Similar to New Year's resolutions that I fail to keep or even to make for that matter-- we seek to better ourselves*(I hear this in a snooty accent)--or at least look pretty good for the wedding and not go crazy from working all the time and never doing anything for ourselves. The idea is a good one because it is far to easy for me to fall into patterns of work and school that involve breaks in the evening only to eat a bag of chips drink a couple glasses of wine and start all over the next day. Barring gifts for friends I haven't really painted throughout the time I was in graduate school, so the proposed creative/healthy streak is Michael's effort to get me back in gear and not let himself fall into an all work all the time routine with schoolwork. Examples of our healthy and creative things are easy to think up, but of course much harder to actually get my butt off the comfy IKEA chair to do. One day for me might include playing with some watercolors and going on a long walk, for Michael it might be nightly push-ups and sketching out a piece of music that is not for school. I am immediately behind one day because I did crunches and push ups yesterday but no truly creative thing. Though my lazy procrastinating self is already cheating the pact by thinking of things I did that could fit into the creative part. I printed all the wedding invitations and double checked the envelopes, I made a quick chicken stir fry for dinner...that's creative!, how about if I floss tonight?, that's healthy right? But truthfully the creative and healthy things need to be separate from the daily things. So Michael can't count his walk to the bus stop and I can't count cooking because we do these things every day. Instead our creative and healthy things need to be more intentional and more suited to our creative outlets musical and artistic and become more physically active. So today I prepped a canvas (that's the start to something creative) and maybe later I will do some yoga stretches.

unreal expectations

I'm one of those annoying creative types that never actually gets anything done while waiting for some semblance of perfection to occur. I have been writing daily posts in my head for at least the last week. But my brain expects beautifully, long pictorial view of my late June road trip. Well, maybe someday, but until then...I am in LA now and mostly freaking out.

The apartment is good (there will be pictures of that too, mmmhmm whenever my lazy butt gets off the bed and finds the camera cord), the neighborhood is bad (but comparable to our Cincinnati 'hood and therefore we have made a very expensive lateral move, albeit one that added in a teenytiny parking space). I got my wedding dress and many boxes of invitations to print which will sit on my desk until I go buy cyan, magenta and yellow ink, because my idiotic (or maybe crazy smart in a bad steal my money sort of way) Epson, will not print in black without also having full cyan, magenta and yellow cartridges. We have lots of fancy kitchen gadgets in our ittybitty kitchen with an oven so tiny I can fit one cookie tray. I put together lots more furniture with allen wrenches. (I cannot wait to be able to buy furniture with no assembly required.) When I go places here I kind of know my way around. I can drive around town and back home without getting lost, and I can even take different roads home every time.

Yesterday, at long last I went to the HR department of my school district to complete my becoming a teacher in what appears to be the Country of California, things were going extremely well, I was making kind chit chat with the HR lady, things were nearly completed when...She saw her supervisor on the way to the copy machine and they both puzzled over my new Ohio teaching certification. A two-year provisional certification. (Hmmm, to my knowledge the only kind you can get in Ohio unless you began a program in the late 1980's and have been grandfathered into to the old teacher for life system.) The two-year provisional certification is a problem, they have never seen one before, this may, in HR lady words, "condemn" my job offer. I think the word provisional is scaring them away. I tried unsuccessfully to explain that this is the the norm for Ohio. *Ohio and California have no reciprocity with teaching and California has its own set of tests and requirements. My job offer was always contingent on the ability to get a CA state license or certificate or whatever, this was always part of the deal. But the shock and confusion of the HR ladies and the word condemn really ruined my Friday. So now I am in limbo again, I must wait to hear from the state. In the meantime, do I attend the unpaid training sessions for math and reading? Do I continue to worry and plan for the 13 little kids I may or may not be in charge of educating this September. Should I really be looking for another source of income before I completely max out my credit card? Also I understand the States rights but really how is it possible to receive a masters degree in education from an NCATE credited university, to do a YEAR of student teaching, to pay repeatedly for FBI background checks because each state requires their own version and won't share, pay hundreds of dollars to each state's teaching certification people and still not be granted the license/certificate? Can they give me the time and money back? I hate not being in control. --end rant--

Really though, I am living in Southern California. I just bought 4 new bikinis (I practically never wear two piece bathing suits, but I was tanning/burning a big X shape in my back with my cool 40 style black one piece, which by my October wedding may look like some type of crazy tattoo or scar, thus the bandeau swim top to the rescue) I am going to the beach today, and hell maybe tomorrow too, because I can! I don't have a job. Oh and I am very fair skinned the tanning/burning in small unsuncreened areas occurs through my use of 30SPF or sometimes when I am feeling super neurotic KIDS 55 SPF. I blame Michael for the burn marks on my back, his ability to spray apply sunscreen is poor. I am thinking of purchasing a cream variety to see if that works better for him. Unfortunately for all my long armedness I cannot apply sunscreen to that one spot on the middle of my back.

3 reasons why I am happy to no longer be in Ohio

1. 6:30 am phone call 513 area code (when I called the west coast --or for that matter anywhere out of my time zone I did some quick math. EST --> PST = -3 hours, dumbass) I scramble around and find my phone ringing in my bag from the beach yesterday ( the beach, woo hoo I went to the beach) moving on.
2. ME-recognize Cinci area code in haze of sleep answer the phone formally, "Hello, this is formal first name I never actually use, (but I was expecting this woman to return my phone call yesterday)" HER "This is _____ from U of C. You are one of those special ed people." ME-"?" "um, no, I don't think..." "You were in a special program" ME-again "?" "No, I was in the master's in special ed..." HER-"Whatever, Doesn't matter." ME thinking (then why did you ask?) HER-"Anyway, you want this sent to this address?"
3. um my 6:30 am physic abilities must be subpar..."I would like the certificate sent to my NEW address at 123 SPANISH name (pronounced phonetically in English) STREET in LA" HER-"Is that how you say that name?" Me-(thinking)-no, actually, that's how I say that name but anyone else would roll an R or an N or something like that.

It is still so early in the morning I can't believe I had this conversation. I wanted to ask her to expedite the damn papers that she should have mailed to my old address (and which would have been forwarded by the post office with all of my other mail to my new address), but I feared change to what already seemed like her unsettling job of mailing out teaching certificates might send her over the edge and then I would never see the document.

UPDATE --I finally received the certificate it only took 12 DAYS!!! 12 days is that like 3rd class mail or a really lazy university adminstrator.

more about the move later

Until then, here is a very cute picture of my niece in a onesie that I painted for her.

apartment _check

internet and 3 months of premium digital cable_not til tuesday
furniture in storage thing_hopefully today

more later

santa monica

We've been in Santa Monica since Friday evening.
The apartment search sucks.
Michael's uncle is super nice and took us to the movies.
I am stealing wireless internet from somewhere in his apartment building.

drive drive drive

Tonight, I am in Albuquerque, New Mexico. am very sleepy, must watch cable and enjoy my room at the La Quinta (hey there is a couch in my room, and a mini fridge and microwave, we've really hit the big time).

across the country

Hurray for wireless internet. Above is a picture of my odometer turning over to 100,000 miles somewhere in the middle of West Virginia yesterday. Michael and I are in day two of our drive from Pennsylvania to California. Tonight we are in Stroud, OK. I think it would be apt to say we are in the middle of nowhere. There is an Indian reservation, and a small beer/liquor store, that had a weight bench, and a bird, and about 6 types of beer to choose from in six packs. When we left the cashier told us to "Have a good'un." I have tried to google this town but nothing interesting came up on the first page and I am too lazy to search further. Wait wait I was spelling it wrong before thinking of breweries as I enjoyed my beer I typed in Stoudt, Here is Stroud . Last night we stayed at a Drury Inn (nope, I'd never heard of it either though I was singing the muffin man song in the elevator) in Terre Haute, Indiana. Tomorrow we may be in Albuquerque.
It was Michael's idea to drive through Tulsa and stop somewhere on the other side. What we didn't realize was that there was nothing on the other side. The land in Missouri was rolling. The highways had no guardrails. Missouri and Oklahoma have speed limits of 75mph, but most inhabitants seem law abiding citizens and ready to settle and drive at or below the limit. This is very different from PA and NJ driving but it is nice to stop looking in the rearview mirror for flashing lights as I drive at around 80mph. In Oklahoma there are many signs by the road that implore motorists with the message DO NOT DRIVE INTO SMOKE . I have no idea what this means. The smoke signs are interspersed with blue triangle signs that say Keep Our Land Grand, much nicer than the usual signs that display littering fines. I can't decide if the roads look cleaner because of the cute signs or the lack of inhabitants. We haven't stopped much here but when I do I seem to get funny looks from people when I speak (the PA accent?) I was thinking of putting on my silly southern drawl, but I am not sure it might be worse here where I cannot catagorize the accent and I definitely saw a boy leave the welcome center wearing only denim overalls. Well, I'll leave you with that picture and possibly update again tomorrow if the wireless internet is as happening outside of Stroud, OK.

Incommunicado

My internet connector thing must be returned to the store tonight before 7. Tomorrow afternoon some people will come and deliver a container in front of my apartment. (I am crossing my fingers that a bored traffic cop does not feel the need to come to my neighborhood and write me a ticket, especially because the city of Cincinnati was so helpful when we called about getting a permit, mmhmm, I'll miss Cincinnati).
There is, of course, more packing cleaning and organizing to do. The move has taken over and when it is complete I can resume letting the wedding or my new job anxieties take over after the cross country driving and apartment finding anxieties subside. The next two weeks will be our usual east coast tour with the added bonuses (bonusi?) of attending a wedding, going "down the shore" to do some of our own wedding planning, and a Murphy bridal shower (the Murphy part implies wine and beer and absolutely NO party games). When next we meet I may be on the west coast (or using some found wifi in mid-travels). Wish me luck on the apartment hunting.

now

I am a graduate. But I didn't go to graduation, just to the CCM picnic for free food and to see Nora once more before she goes to Italy. Free food tastes yummy. The apartment is very packed up. The futon is leaving with a friend of Michael's this afternoon. So this evening I plan on lying on a lonely mattress in the living room and reading or watching library rented episodes of sex and the city. The LA apartment fell through so we are just going to drive out there and then figure out what to do next. Hopefully, some family will feel sorry for us and save us the hotel costs while we figure it out. Michael said today that every June something momentous happens that changes everything. I always thought of it as August or September with the start of new school or jobs, but it is true. Does that stop? or does it continue that way?

too much to talk about,

yet nothing is actually happening yet. I got a tentative (fill in the blank salary), the apartment has been offered, I have mountains of paperwork to fill out and 80% of the apartment has been boxed up and is sitting in the living room. If I think to hard about the little things, or the big things I may have a panic attack, so it is better to just do some stuff each day and move on and hope that the move doesn't steam roll me into oblivion.

The annoying but long anticipated weekend recap:
Spent the weekend in Charlotte with Michael's stepbrother and fiance. I left my camera in my purse the entire time. It was the most active weekend I have had in about three years and I am staying in bed this morning to recover. I think I wanted to bring my camera to some things but thought I might break it if I fell (and I expected to fall). And now, everyone say hurray for weekend bulletpoints.

Friday

• fly into Charlotte via Detroit (use my camera only to try to record the hideous disco, public art display in an unavoidable concourse between terminals)

Saturday

• go eat huge omelets (which I always want to spell the French way, omelettes) and pancakes with the yummiest fresh squeezed juices
• go ice skating (1. ow ankles, 2. veering around to avoid a herd of 3 and 4 year old full gear hockey kids who were painfully cute and literally running around the ice in their hockey skates--3. oh and there were also a respectable amount of small ice princesses prancing around in teeny little outfits and stretching their bodies in impossible ways, 4. I did not fall down, though I did do a lot of arm waving and looking impossibly awkward and tall but I think I probably do that off the ice)
• go to taste of Charlotte (and wonder wear downtown Charlotte keeps their poor and middle class folk because the yuppies have taken over. Admire how everything is brick and beautiful public art and billion dollar condo, still wonder about the po' people, like myself, where would I live? in the suburbs? use silly "silver" coins to purchase food. Not as yummy as taste of Cincinnati but oh so clean and lots of vendors with non-food stuff, I did have FANTASTIC mini cannolis)
  
• tennis (or for me strolling around to pick up errant balls from a hot clay court)
• cook-out (with yummy mahi mahi, spicy asparagus and fantastic salad)(also with Michael's step sister and friends on their way up from Florida and fanciest of all wine out of stemless goblets)
  

Sunday

• go to hike up a mountain (or for me walk halfway up and then stop sporadically to catch your breath while begging everyone else to just hike up and you'll meet them later--much later)
• South Carolina outlet shopping/limping (my poor iceskating ankles, or 2 hours in a gap dressing room with lots of clothing in different sizes figuring out what size is my new size and the inevitable I am not buying these jeans if they don't make my butt look really good--I don't buy any jeans)
• limping home to watch the disappointing Sopranos season finale and eat the worst pizza on the planet (no seriously, I think that the cardboard ellio's would be better, but shh don't tell our fantastic hosts because it is "the best pizza in Charlotte" and this from a former New Yorker, who has I think been in the south too long to judge these things)

Monday

• fly back to Dayton airport via the Detroit headachy public art display
• read several books and magazines to spend some quality time in Detroit
• go to a party in Cincinnati with my classmates and more yummy food and gifts and promises to karaoke tonight (we shall see)
  

my life is action packed and now I must go de-mildew the shower, and keep packing up the growing piles of stuff. Moving day is set for June 13th...then the trip to the east coast, then the trip to the beach, then the LONG trip to the west coast. ACK!

cupcakes

Illustration Friday for the first time in a long time.
I just opened illustrator and really have no idea how to use the program so here is a lame first attempt at playing.

still

The waiting game sucks more so upon receiving a contract on a Saturday afternoon that says
salary shall be Class ____BLANK!, level ____BLANK!. That is not me self censoring. It is empty.
hmm
Its kind of hard to get a new apartment with a salary of BLANK LINES ________. And now I must continue to be tortured until Monday afternoon (at least) when I can call and leave a message for everyone and their supervisor, HR director, and their mothers to try to figure out how to fill in the ___s.

waiting

"And now we play the waiting game."
"..."
"The waiting game sucks, let's play hungry hungry hippos."

obvious

I love how obviously information is presented through computers on tv shows. Tonight Law and Order: SVU. Mariska, (what's her characters name in the show?update: Olivia Benson) finds an address through an internet router and it comes through as a large print pop up box.

CSI or House or one of those shows that makes use of computer animation to show the inside workings of the body-big pictures on the screen of molecules or dirt become big printed breakdowns of chemical material in laymen's terms.

Is this the computing of the future? Playskool versions of computers where everything looks like the BIG world from Super Mario Brother's 3. Is this what today's computers look like to people that used to use punch cards?

the last couple days

This seems supremely boring here, but I haven't been very good about writing here so I want to get a start doing more, so...

A list like update of food I ate (and drinks I drank) over the last couple of days interspersed with daily events:

Wednesday-Shadowbox with Alyssa and Trent (some cool waiter/actor or if you prefer actor/waiter totally hooked me up (beyond Michael's free tickets hook up and gave me free drinks)

Thursday-nothin special, can't really remember, oh wait I already wrote a post about getting a call about a teaching job.

Friday-irritating meeting with the ABA guy where he repeats himself about 700 times in case we are too dense to get it the first ten, then silly older mellow people Cinco de Mayo party. When I told Quinn I went to a Cinco de Mayo party he asked if I helped anyone flip a car. It seems this type of thing was a problem before I moved here. This party was very adult and there were several small children in attendance. I brought Virgin Margarita's for the pregnant/nursing ladies.

Me "I think I will make virgin Margarita's for the Cinco de Mayo ."
Michael "So, just a pitcher of lime juice then."
Me "Oops, what goes in a Margarita?"
Michael "Tequila, triple sec, lime juice."
So, I bought lime-ade concentrate and added some fresh lime juice, and sugar, and the girls just rimmed their glasses in coarse salt...yum. I wanted to make guacamole but the avocados I bought weren't ripe yet.

Saturday-Nora's derby party with Burgoo, wings, and Mint Juleps. I picked the winner by sight without looking at the odds. I like the number 8 and the blanket was pink.

Sunday-Chinese food for brunch then, yummy, yummy Brio thanks to Trent. lobster bisque, mussels, Caesar salad, spinach and artichoke dip...by the time the entrees came I was going to explode, I wished it just came in the to go box. But the pasta (Michael's) and my crabcakes were just as tasty the next day.

Monday-class then free Chipotle for participating in a focus group for a study

Tuesday-I passed my ridiculous portfolio meeting. (which is akin to a masters thesis defense, but I didn't do a thesis, I did a stupid portfolio) Then I cleaned the whole apartment and made guacamole with the finally ripe avocados.

-The rent in LA is going to bankrupt me, but I can't wait for cheap and local avocados.

--I ate enough food in the last 5 days to probably make up all the weight I lost and some. Yay food. I love food.

call back

Tonight, I got a phone call about a job in Pasadena. Is this a good job? I have no idea, I was so frantically sending out resumes and worrying about how I would pay rent that I didn't think too hard about what I was actually looking for. This is the first response I have received that seems to be actually interested. Other schools that sent emails just asked for my letters of recommendation (don't have them all yet) or my transcripts and credential (still in school, waiting for credential info from the state of Ohio), or to request that I get back to them when the state of California gets back to me (about a bunch of credentialing forms I have not sent in yet). The job would be working with the same little guys I work with now, but in a neighborhood school (sort of my ideal) and in a district school that would count to get my Perkins loan waived. (based on SES of school, based on free lunch ratio of kids). It is hard to make a judgment about school districts and neighborhood from the internet alone. Of course this may all be speculation but the HR person on the phone seemed very positive, and I got a another follow up call from a different school administrator that I missed, that seems pretty serious.

more good things

• Everyone that I asked to be a reference or write a reference letter is super cool and very willing to say nice things about me. Isn't that good. I can't imagine how awkward or disheartening it would be to have to wait forever to hear back from these people or hear nothing at all and have to ask again and again. But yay people are being cool. I will feel better when I find an apartment but one thing at a time and until then I will just continue my love affair with craig's list. refresh refresh refresh...still no July 1st listings.
• I have almost completely finished the neverending whine that is my Master's portfolio
• This week has been my Spring break from my internship and it took me until Thursday to remember how to stay up late and sleep in. Now how many days will it take me to start waking up early again?
  

something good

I hate leaving up a bad post. So this is just a placeholder to say, I am holding it together. Things are crazy but entirely manageable. It was great to go sit out in the Biergarten with Quinn and friends and not do any work last night. The weather is fantastic and if nothing else the sunlight is making my life so much easier (easier to get out of bed in the morning, easier to keep getting work done in the evening) and of course I really need to get back to writing papers now.

One of those days

Its been one of those days where nothing is really going wrong, but when I sit down at night I feel like everything has been driving me crazy. I feel like my body is vibrating tonight with all of my stress over school, work, moving etc. that I don't know what to work on. I feel over caffeinated (but I'm not) or all keyed up like I get when I take allergy medication (I haven't). I can blame the intensity of my professor in class tonight, who sounded like she was shouting all evening (and even felt the need to interject my name into one such statement --totally randomly like I was a little kid ready to wander into the street, or like had just asked her a question about that point and she wanted my attention [I hadn't, she had it]--and this is a big class with about 20 people or so). I can blame it on the intensity of sharing 3 minutes before and after class wtih ~10 people as keyed up and stressed as I am about completing their degree requirements. I can blame it on getting lost in the menu of the California teacher credentialing board and listening to their menu twice without hearing anything, before finally hitting a random button and being connected to a message that told me the office hours ended at 4:45 PST, it was 7:45EST and I probably would have made it in time if I had pressed a button my first time through the menu but I got distracted by the Internet and didn't hear any of the "press 6 if you know your party's extension and would like to dial it now." Also who closes their office at 4:45? I could blame it on the seemingly endless stream of evening emails between me and my internship supervisor about mysterious requirements that I think she makes up during her commute back to good old Kentucky. But if I am going to place blame I think I should blame my crappy day on everyone and go with the Simpson's quote "You know what I blame this on the downfall of? Society!"-Moe Syzslak

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGELIQUE!

Angelique, Here is a long ago picture of you at a beach in Germany (April 2000 I think?) You are 29 today. Sort of an eh number to turn, but if you are like me you can just start telling all the old ladies you work with that you are thirty. It has been an intense year but I am so glad that we have stayed such close friends even though we haven't lived near each other since we were Junior's in high school. Remember high school? Yeah, that was lame, doesn't it make you glad you are 29 now and can do what you want to do. Go places without a hall pass. Drive your own car 9 hours to visit your friend in Cincinnati. Move to a new state. Drink beer (or wine for me) (or scotch if you prefer). Decorate your own apartment (or maybe a house sometime). Make drastic career changes and life changes and ignore the idea that you need to live your life like it is preplanned...school, marriage, baby whatever, We can keep changing our minds about what we want to be when we grow up (when is that? grown up? I was waiting for it but I don't think it happened yet, besides all the changes keep things interesting. You can live in a place where you can walk to a store and buy fresh flowers and fruit to put in a bowl in your own kitchen. Some sort of random things but the kinds of things that make me happy. Hope you have a good day and you get to go out to eat yummy food. (and chocolate cake!)

Here is the most recent picture I could find of us together. You know I love you and it is your birthday because I took the time to get rid of your red eye and I still posted the picture even though I am doing that weird taking my own picture without a timer double chin thing.

and here is another one from when Amy and I came to see you in Germany


and one more


***2006 update-don't amy and angelique look like babies in this picture?

wedding wedding wedding

I need to settle all sorts of wedding stuff before I can start to do all sorts of moving to L.A. preparations (and truthfully somewhere in there I need to fit in work, internship and school work but that is another whiney post for another time). So this weekend I started to get things done for everything, I pried myself away from job listings and apartment listings to get out of the house and get things done. When I got home I was even so motivated as to organize my desk and computer and upload some old photographs. If you are feeling in need of some wedding rants by all means read on. If you know it will make you crazy stop now. And as usual if you have any questions or advice for the L.A. move let me know.

The Dress

Yesterday and today I went wedding dress shopping with my friend Lili. This was helpful in avoiding any actual thesis/portfolio writing. So I felt it was a good compromise, work & dress shopping instead of work & schoolwork. Of course this just means that I again need to alter my calendar and move back when I am writing what and try to convince myself to write more after school (with the kids) and class (with the other teachers) during the week.
And today I was able to cross something off the wedding list when I finally bought the dress. Or at least put 60% down on The Dress. I (like so many girls I know) went completely against everything I said I wanted in a dress to buy one that truly flattered my figure. I thought because I was tall I could look good in a simple slip dress (what my mother continually refers to as the Carolyn-Bisset-Kennedy-type-dress), but like my shorter friends I too looked like I was tromping around in my mommy's night gown in that type dress.
So the dress, the dress is ivory and plain and strapless (because in the early 2000's it is apparently only possible to buy strapless or halter style dresses and again you hafta go with what flatters). It is long and A-line and has the dreaded crinoline that I thought I could avoid. It has (wait for it Nora) a BOW. I love ribbons and it has a nice ribbon, high on the waist. The ribbon I ordered is called something stupid like baby's breath, but is really champagne colored with bedazzled jewels on it and flowery sort of shiny embroidery. (bored yet? I am) So I might trade that out for a blue ribbon, cause I like blue and I picked blue hydrangeas as flowers so blue, blue, blue, like the polar opposite of Shelby in Steel Magnolias and her signature colors of Blush and Bashful. Whatever. I have no pictures. Sorry. Just imagine me, tall, strapless, weddingy, but not like a total cake topper, because I totally tried on some dresses that looked so much like icing that I wanted to eat them.

New Ring

Here is a picture of my new engagement ring. It came from this company that Michael found online. All very ecologically responsible of him. I realize now it is better to do the little things you can do, than cynically give in to the idea that things are so bad there is no saving them. So I love it. It is blue and wedding ring like and very comfy to wear, which was my only issue with my first ring.








Here's the up close version. I will post more tonight I finally got out the camera cord and uploaded my pictures from Christmas on. Sad isn't it. I guess I need to make a resolution about monthly uploads, that and taking the camera everywhere, because I feel desperate without it whenever something crazy or beautiful happens.

news

So the news is, Michael got accepted to USC for a graduate certificate in film and television scoring. We are going to try to move to LA in July. I have so much to think about and do that I can't really think of how to start writing about it. So if you have any questions, ask me. Maybe that will get me going.


--also I really will be getting photos off my camera soon and posting some. I love my huge memory card but it makes me so lazy. I know I have about 6 short movies on there, along with hundreds of photos.

we interrupt your regularly scheduled program for...

As an avid reader of my blog you may remember this post about how WCPO can suck it.
Today (again) I realize I need to leave the fine city of Cincinnati* as they interrupt my Friday television with a special news report BREAKING NEWS ( I think, who got shot?** is it near my house? like a couple blocks away?) NO! but UC has named a new basketball coach. wow. That was exciting. Definitely worth interrupting the regular programming. ***

* does the sarcasm shine through here? Do I need to italicize or faux air quote?
**the only shooting they talked about was the cross town shootout. New coach guy has never missed one. Good to hear it new coach guy.
*** also a reason why I was happy to watch Duke go down earlier this week. I get irritated by basketball obsessed universities.

Now I must go, and watch Oprah teach me how to get out of debt. And exclaim over a teenager that owns 25 VS bras. Oprah says "almost more...I mean...almost as many as I own." How is it we can take this woman seriously about debt reduction. Did you see the show where people came and shopped in her closet rejects and she gave the money to charity? When I bring my closet rejects to the Goodwill I drive away fast so I can't see them throw my stuff away.

some things (really a lot of nonsense)

I have a pen on the top of my refrigerator it is turquoise with pink writing that says Kathleen on the side. I remember this pen from my parents house so I have no idea what the half life is of a pen but I have a feeling it may have been picked up from one of my sister's elementary school classmates. weird. I wonder if it will be working when the new Kathleen learns how to write.

I have this annoying cough. It doesn't bother me as much as it bothers all those around me (=Michael) He slept on the futon last night (around 4:30am) and didn't even bother to fold it down into an actual bed. This is too bad because it is the most uncomfortable couch like thing on the planet, but as a bed it is not to horrible.

The cough is the dry hacking desperate kind and the worst part is I have no control over it. I am the irritating person that is in every theater and quiet lecture. Any ideas on how to get rid of this more quickly? I don't really feel like taking a 'tussin type cough suppressant, they just make my cough more weak and pathetic and useless, while making my eyes water.

Michael and I just got back from a mega-store in Kentucky called the Party Source. This is a great place full of very cheap wine. I didn't get past aisle 4 or 5 because we only had about 10 minutes to do all our shopping. I hate that kind of shopping, especially in a place with so much wine to explore.

Alas, he had to meet a guy about a job (sounds illicit in a mobster sort of way, but isn't) Do you think mobsters meet in bookstore coffee shops? If they do I wonder if they have the same volume control issues that this guy had? I was standing about 20 feet away looking at magazines and I could hear this guy (the loud talker) telling Michael he needed a fax number and could he have it now or get it later and on Monday after the other meeting Michael would need to start checking his voice mail every 3-4 hours and expecting faxes... I hate these types of people (I hate people that tell me what I need to do --like check my own voicemail--hence uncollaborative) but luckily Michael thinks he is funny (in an amusing from a distance sort of way) Michael said "This guy is a caricature of himself."
So can you imagine some Sopranos-esque dialogue in a bookstore coffee shop? Because this guy has used the phrase bada bing, and not in an ironic sort of way.

While we were at the bookstore I used some kumquat/lime hand lotion. It sounds nice but I can't really smell it so I tried to just pick one that seemed good so I bypassed the rose (bleh flowery). I feel the same way about perfume and food lately, ambivalent. I put on perfume in the mornings but I don't know why. And I am really not into food (like I have been nuking lean pockets for dinner, ew). This is really weird for me. I just don't feel like cooking. I made some chicken soup the other day with vegetables and acine di pepe. I had Michael taste it because I thought I might have added too much water and for me it was just hot liquid. He said it was good, so I sprinkled the top with cayenne pepper before I ate it. Then I burned my tongue on it.

Last night and this morning I cleaned the apartment. Michael says it smells clean now. Again more about this vital sense that I have been without for a week. I am happy because now I can walk around the kitchen in my socks and I don't get stuck to the floor.(no really it wasn't that bad--well maybe near the fridge). I also organized all my books and things so that makes me feel better. It goes with this book I read about the home environments affect on your general well being. I will post about it in my xanga when I get a chance.

This coming week is my Spring Break from the University but not from my school where I teach. So I still need to get up early in the mornings but I don't have to go to class at night. This is really lame. I thought the good thing about being a student was vacations like Spring Break that don't exist in the real world. Now I am always working or at my internship regardless of school vacations. This self supporting stuff is nonsense.

baby

I have a new niece, Kathleen Patricia! I wish I could go see her but for once it is good that I live in Ohio, because I am dying of some mucousy illness that I just can't shake. Spring Break is next week, so maybe I will finally take some time to get some photos off my camera and on here.

travel

Here are the places I have been to in the U.S. I know that I have probably driven through parts of Georgia, Maine, and Connecticut but I didn't include them because I couldn't think of anything in particular about those states other than similar stretches of highway. I mean does it count to have been there if you didn't even stop?



You can create your own visited states map or if you are cooler than me you can do one for the whole world

I would do the world map too but that is just too pathetic. U.S., Canada, Germany, that is all.

things that make me happy

• hot tea with honey that came from a bear shaped container (I have a cold)

• the fact that I can justify eating 6 cans of pringles in the next two weeks (or maybe a little longer) because I can use the empty cans to make rainsticks for my class.

• the video from this article.

President's day off (sort of)

Yay! I didn't have to go to school today in the morning (but I did have to go to class in the evening so it wasn't technically a day off, but I accept it for what it is).
This morning Michael (with lots of coaxing over an extended period of time starting sometime last week and reaching a peak last night) convinced me to go to the gym with him. This was my first trip to the gym. (possibly my last) I hate the elliptical machine, it hurts my knees, I am also not a fan of the stationary bike but I knew that before I went. I just don't get it. In Michael's gym there is a cardio-theater where they play movies while you work out. This is still not enough to keep my mind active, I wanted a magazine too, or a book or something. I can't just do these aerobically challenging activities without something else because my brain just does not turn off and it drives me crazy. This is why I like dance, because I am so bad (and so not a kinesthetic learner) that it takes all of my energy (physical and mental) to try to make my limbs behave in a non-spastic manner. Anyway, after the cardio-theater (theatre?) I used weight lifting machines for the first time. These are less offensive than the elliptical machine everyone seems so fond of, but still sort of strange. The only one I really like is the one where you get to use your feet to push weight out, because it really stretched my hips and knees out and I needed that. Also I think my minimal amount of crunches totally put me back down a pant size that I have been slowly shrinking out of, now I need to really buy new pants. (or eat)
So to cancel out all that crazy exercising I convinced Michael to go with me to Chipotle for lunch. (we walked there, but Michael said we need to run there to even work off a bite of guacamole) My burrito has 59g of fat, and 1240 calories. That info comes from here. Now I must get back to various school writing projects that I pushed off completing on Sunday afternoon in favor of afternoon drinks a game of Scrabble (the first time I ever won against Michael) and a movie. For some reason I thought, Hey, I have off on Monday I can get that work done later, or not.

p.s. to NBC -Enough with the ice dancing already!

it was like it was you...but it wasn't you

I know how insufferable it is to listen to other people tell you about their dreams, "it was like I was walking, but I was floating, and I was in math class but my math teacher was really my grandma..." and so I am apologizing in advance but...
I had this dream last night that I can't shake. Lots of weird annoying dream things happened most of which I can no longer remember. Here is the obviously connected to what is bothering me not entirely subconsciously, I dreamt that the neediest kid in my class, who I agonize over daily because I feel so helpless about the situation. The mostly deaf, mostly blind boy with no language abilities etc etc. In my dream he became a woman supervisor of the program, and the explanation was something like he was there to see how we (as interns) would handle a situation like this. This being me at a complete loss for what to do with this student in a new environment where I have no control or input. In the dream it was no big deal and then we all sat down for dinner, like at a banquet. Here is where the dream becomes less of a pathetic and sad window to my soul and more shallow and pathetic window to my television addiction. Patrick Dempsey was seated at the head of the table, and a slightly younger Patrick Dempsey look-alike guy sat next to me. And Patrick Dempsey told me how good we (me and the look alike) look together. (convoluted enough for you) Thank you Grey's Anatomy.

Moving on...I did one of these Johari windows I have been reading about. Check it out here and tell me what you think of me (if you feel like it). It makes me think of one of the professors I hate, who on the first day of class always has us fill out a form wherein we must list 6 adjectives to describe ourselves. dude, I know this is for class my first three adjectives are about how smart, articulate and personable I am, what I am going to say (angry, vindictive, impatient). Whatever, check out my Johari and start one of your own so I can look at it too.

not really myspace

I am not really into Myspace. I have a profile. I started it because I wanted to comment on my friend's pictures. Then I added to it because a college friend/former roommate was asking me to, and I hadn't talked to him in years so I caved (a little). I don't really want to meet online friends. All my friends are my real life friends. As many nights as I sit at home and play on the internet I have not really made an effort to find "internet friends". I feel pathetic enough about my lack of a Saturday night (BY CHOICE*--I have homework to procrastinate and its not going to get done with me out on the town, or else its going to be pushed to even later on Sunday night with a hangover to boot) to involve online "networking". whatever. However, in the last couple of days myspace has been a hoppin'. With the ghosts of d-town past, that is my sister's d-town past. (I think I am really too old for myspace.) My sister's friends from highschool found me online, now I am procrastinating by reading their blogs and their friends blogs. --this is horrible-- (hello, Kate's high school friends! how's it going?). Now I am getting back to school work (fer real).

*this is the bouncing souls BY CHOICE from These are the quotes.

February blah

I am not enjoying my new student teaching placement. I am drowning in guilt every minute I am at home that I am not researching or writing a paper (this is many, many minutes for a procrastinator like me). I am feeling like an incredible poor communicator to my professors and anyone else I approach even with the most banal chit chat. I feel waves of confusion or annoyance floating off of people as I plough my way through a book recommendation or input to class discussion. They look at me with puzzled expressions as if I am speaking in a strange dialect (am I? this is the midwest). I am making bumbling mistakes in communication over email that makes me think I need to go back to bed and start fresh next week. PMS? possibly. The good thing?
Without any prompting (prompting, what an annoying special ed teacher word--in this case it means long whiny complaints and requests for stupid things), Michael left me a message today while I was at work just to say he was thinking about me and how much he loved me. (do you hear irritating strains of Stevie Wonder? so sorry) When I got home from school around 1pm I was in such a foul mood I decided the best thing for it was to nap until work at 4pm. Michael came home at 3:30pm (thank goodness seeing as how I had set my alarm but failed to turn it on). He brought a package of mini Hershey bars, cheesy crackers, peanut butter crackers, a 12 pack of Coca-Cola and cranberry juice. What nice presents for me. Now I am home after work, I am going to make veggie fried rice. I have poured myself a glass of red. I am cooking the rice (yay rice cooker) I am heading to take a bath while the rice cooks and chills (a recipe recommendation for fried rice that I cannot find an explanation for), then I can relax, do stupid homework, eat chocolate which goes oh so well with my pinot noir (thank you Amy for introducing me to the yummy and cheap Pepperwood Grove), and tomorrow I can roll out of bed, put on any old clothes for school (jeans, sweats, I think anything goes at this place), grab a coke and some packages of crackers (yay, that will be breakfast) and start over again. Its all about the little things in life.

ew cute

this kind of hurts me, but I thought some of you might find it amusing.
cute overload
I got this from loobylu.

two weekends in a row

This is the second weekend where I left the house on Saturday to go somewhere other than work. Aren't you proud of me?
Last weekend, I went salsa dancing with Alyssa and Lili. Then Michael came after work. I didn't dance very much, but standing around in high heels was enough to tire me out. I danced with Michael and not other people, not because I wasn't asked, and not because I am in one of those possessive type relationships, more because I don't really know how to salsa and my take charge personality works against me in the world of partners dancing where the man is supposed to lead. Who made that rule up? I want to spin the boy around and walk forwards sometimes, and in doing so not just step on someone's toes. So, I stuck with Michael. He is a born dancer and can make up something that looks good while I look tall and hunched over and rhythmless. I guess I should stick to types of dance that don't require me to touch other people.
Then last Sunday, (even though I was still drowning in homework) Alyssa and Trent came over to help eat all the wonderful food Michael cooked (chili and general tso's chicken and I made corn bread [we cook a lot on Sunday's for during the week, so no, that wasn't a planned menu, just a variety of foods from that afternoon])
Yesterday, Vanessa saved my butt by subbing in for an exercise class that was crazy insane and disorganized but successful to some extent. Then, nice girl that she is, she invited me to dinner with her friends. Later we went out to a smoky bar with a thumpy dj that played a variety of dance music I had not heard since college (the first time). We had fun playing an assortment of made up darts games (another thing I hadn't done since college the first time, as well evidenced by the number of darts I threw that flipped around and sort of bounced off the board). Going out to a bar...hmmm...it made me miss the Joyce in Durham, where you could sit outside on the picnic benches and listen to silly Irish music and drink yummy tasting beers, while still carrying on a conversation and not being completely assaulted by smoke.
Tonight I am headed over to Nora and Quinn's for dinner. I think I will make some potato soup to bring for their friend who is recently wisdom tooth free and therefore unable to eat solid foods. mmm. potato soup. I really need to download my pictures and give you that recipe.

literacy literature strikes again

um okay
I am reading this article/book chapter by Rumelhart about interactive reading models (did I lose you already? just hang on) and here is a sentence that made me yelp
"Perhaps the most commonly observed effect of this sort involves the semantic disambiguation of syntactically ambiguous sentences." mmmhmm. yeah, I got that, sure. Disambiguity strikes again. (oh and how annoying is it to you that I keep linking to my own old posts, I bet you wish blogger never restored my old stuff)
oh and here is a definition for disambiguate.

Internet shopping (alt. title: I think something happened to my brain or maybe my bank account)

Really, someone needs to take the internet away from me.
This summer I went to David's bridal and tried on wedding dresses with Caitlin and laughed a lot about Suzy average bride. I forgot about buying dresses until the moms in my life started reminding me (in a very nice way) that I might want to start looking. So procrastinating my thesis never looked easier and I started looking online to get an idea about what I might want. I drew some pictures I have some ideas, I probably need to find a good seamstress/designer.
Last night I won a bid for a j crew wedding dress on ebay. (its my back up dress, to take the edge of my insanity --cost less than $100)
Two weeks ago I paid off my credit card, ah debt free (except for those pesky school loans but those don't count)
Today I called Michael when I was on my way home from school, we talked about frozen pizza, and somehow I mentioned computers and the idea of getting Michael upgraded to an operating system that will actually allow him to run the programs he needs to do film scoring.
This afternoon, I bought Michael a new laptop, software etc. at the online apple store* (won't ship until March 3 now)

--so really its like "we" bought it with the whole combined finances, getting married thing, but truthfully when that computer ships in March he could cut and run and leave me with the bill --bastard--maybe I should start drafting a pre pre nup. hmmm. Can you do that for debt only if you don't actually have any assets. haha.

I really think I need to put down the internet and get back to clipping coupons and eating rice and beans now. Mmmm I see Ramen noodles and more $3.99 bottles of Crane Lake cab sav in my future.

*Don't worry mom I know what I am doing. The education discount is steep and we are doing well.

lame

I am still being lazy about posting pictures. Too busy watching crappy episodes of law & order while I procrastinate my school work and try to piece together invoices for my job from an old calendar and deposit slips...mmm falsification of records (just kidding I will check with all my parents and my dated behavior logs before I print anything legal for billing/tax purposes)

This laptop will be the death of me. Remember the good old days when I would have to wander down the hall from the office to watch bad t.v. while writing papers? I would think about disabling the internet while I work if my profs weren't so enamored with blackboard and if the online article databases weren't so necessary. Maybe I need to set up some parental controls for myself. Caitlin seems to know what I am talking about, except her guilty pleasure expands beyond E! and blogs to facebook where all the (baby) undergrads hang out.

again YAY!

So look around
TA DA

Again I must point out that my blog came back thanks to blogger support person Samantha. And below I just added the crazy posts I did on my replacement blog. I am sure if I was so inclined I could figure out how to merge the two blogs but I don't care. So, sorry if I omitted your comment from those posts, I still love you (well except if you were just some crazy lasik surgery spam and then I abhor you) Now I need to go watch tv and eat chex mix.

I have been cooking up a storm so when the motivation hits me I will download a ton of pictures and give you some yummy new recipes including the one I finished off tonight. Lovely warm potato soup, so easy and good for these rainy cold days.

today was very warm. We had a fire drill at school. I got paid $30 to jump on a trampoline for two hours.

tomorrow is my last day at the elementary school, and Monday I start a new placement. I will miss my little licey kids, I know they will (eventually) learn how to read without me, but I really liked helping them.

the posts I wrote when I thought my blog was deleted forever

Updates

I don't update for over a month, I update every 3 hours you just never know.
Here is a brief bio that I think might be necessary since the accidental (and idiotic) deletion of all my previous postings on the original site of the same name. So in a scattered inconsistent bulleted fashion here you go:

• I started writing on blogger August of 2004 after living by myself in Cincinnati for a month and falling into reading blogs instead of books during summer classes. For some reason I thought it would be less distracting to read little online diaries instead of books that summer, it took me only about a month to realize the addiction was worse than at the library because you could stalk and favorite author with the refresh button instead of finishing a book and having to reconnect with the real world. I immediately became one of those annoying stream of consciousness writers that refuses to capitalize, or edit beyond the whoa-fully inadequate blogger spellcheck.
• my first and now deleted posts were much like episodes of Seinfeld in that they were about nothing. (I miss them)
  
• then Michael came back from his one man east coast tour
• he asked me to marry him
  (but only after I mercilessly teased him for going away for a month and returning with only a bright red ben & jerry's t-shirt and no jewelry...leading me to believe I forced him into a weird situation and responding with "for real??" instead of the traditional yes. Apparently it wasn't my annoying welcome that spurred him, but our successful 5 year relationship (who would have thought?)
• That fall I continued working (sales&marketing asst) and going to school full time at the University of Cincinnati to get my masters degree in special education and teaching certification.

fast forward through lots of posts about my random thoughts about one year

• Michael went to Aspen in the summer of 2005, and I spent a lot of time drinking the wine out of Cincinnati with these girls, Nora & Caitlin
  
• in July of 2005 my only nephew turned one, and in august of 2005 my blog turned one...my nephew is infinitely cuter and a better public speaker (dunk dunk hook hook 2 points...Nice!)[he got a basketball hoop for Christmas]
  
• fall of 2005 I quit my job to do an unpaid internship at a suburban elementary school
• when I tell you the children I am teaching can't read, I am not lying. I teach 1st and 2nd grade and really they can't read ...but we're working on it so if you have any good picture book suggestions I will take them. We are working on basic letter recognition so any literacy activities are good. (literacy activities=reading, for Kate, like extra language= babbling, this is why I am getting the master's degree)
  
• not that it really matters because I should be changing internships in the next 2 weeks where I expect to start over with emotionally younger, non verbal children with more severe disabilities (yes, this is the placement I have my fingers crossed for)
• I do have two or three pseudo jobs working with other kids with autism in aba therapy at home and in an exercise class at a local YMCA.
• I am really looking forward to holding a real job next year with a real paycheck.
• I am in a constant state of stress when I think about
• writing my thesis
• moving to???? L.A.?, N.Y.? Miami? unknown other city?
• wedding plans
• and yet I am very excited to move if only to get the hell out of Cincinnati (not my kind of town, I want to be near an ocean)
• and speaking of oceans, I will be getting married near one (isn't that nice, I hope it doesn't rain but whatever, Angelique's wedding took place during a thunderstorm that was ridiculous and we had fun, she will have to write about that sometime)

that is all for now.
felt I needed a recap since the deletion
let me know if you have any questions.
posted by nancy at 1/13/2006 07:41:00 PMp

spoiled

Yeah, I am spoiled and ungrateful. Michael did all the laundry today and all I have to do is put my clothes away. Will I do that? Maybe sometime next week after I have shifted the pile from bed to dresser to other dresser to floor etc.
Yay! We are getting married.


(and I swear if we ever have a washer and dryer that doesn't require quarters (and/or four flights of stairs, I too will do laundry)
posted by nancy at 1/13/2006 04:21:00 PM

stuff

Yesterday, I made a bastardized version of this dish (Pelau) from the blog chookooloonks. Don't ask me how to pronounce it (the blog name or the dish) because I really have no idea. Also, I am pretty sure anyone looking for authenticity or even for me to use all of the ingredients listed would be sorely disappointed because really what I did (with help from Michael) is to hustle up some of the ingredients from our cabinets to try to find a dish to use up the huge amount of rice Michael made for burritos earlier in the week. He made a huge tupperware container full and is telling me it was only 2 cups dry but that is a lot of rice (even for me and I really like rice). I think I bought coconut milk when I read the recipe about a month ago because the recipe sounded so tasty. It was a good quicky version with boneless/skinless chicken breast and precooked rice. (maybe it was like the Rachel Ray 30 minute version but actually it probably was faster than 30 minutes). Next time I will make it spicier I think, and use the real ingredients like whole pieces of chicken and uncooked rice.
School
Today my supervisor came to observe me at school for the last time in this placement. She is a total space cadet and my mentor teacher and the SLP (speech language pathologist) can attest to this as she turned the conversation from the possibility of my moving to L.A. to the traffic in Atlanta after the Olympics (say what?).
Now that that is done I am feeling pretty open, especially because I don't have to "work" until Saturday. ("work" being all that which is not teaching, taking classes or going to classes, so anything where people actually pay me for a service instead of me paying them.)
After school I went grocery shopping and all sorts of lovely items like Wine, and sushi, and a beautiful French loaf of my favorite Shadeau bakery bread. yum.
Relaxation with Michael+minor trauma
I felt good thinking about my relaxing evening, my unusually full bank account (thanks federal student loan people), and then Michael came home. We ate sushi, and I made him a steak to go with it because he is a manly man (ha). Then I read blogs while he napped (under my halfhearted coercion, no one should have to work two jobs without a brief nap, and it is easy to get someone to fall asleep with food and exhaustion) on the futon. When he woke up from his nap he scurried (Doesn't the word scurried make you picture rats, what is the comparable word for human busy, organized moving around?) to get ready for work, walking back to the office, gathering stuff, putting on shoes, into the kitchen to fill his water bottle with caffeinated tea to get through the evening, and back out into the living room...CRUNCH! right onto his glasses, shattering the left lense and mangling the frame. The glasses now look like the kids glasses from the Christmas Story (or for the more literary minded like this).
Excusing my ranting post
What is the point you ask? Why am I reading this long ridiculous post? Because you are a voyeur and you love to glimpse into someone else's life. Especially when it makes you feel better about your life (yes the one with TiVo, cable, real couches, paycheck(s) and lasik eye surgery etc.)
but really the point was I am relaxing tonight (and only sort of doing school work)
So tonight is entirely dedicated to sitting on the futon, watching (network) TV and absorbing my class readings in through my lap because really I know it will be all TV and a little wine.
And really I can wait until tomorrow or Saturday to think about going with Michael to get new glasses. (luckily he is not as blind as me and can get along okay without glasses for a day or two, if I hadn't accidentally deleted my blog, I have a feeling I may be able to back link here a post about my broken glasses this fall, but maybe not. I have been pretty slack about this updating thing.)

p.s. Why does blogger spell check not know the word Blog but does know that the brand TiVo is capital T little i capital V little o? creepy.
posted by nancy at 1/12/2006 07:26:00 PM


Musical Theater/Movie

I have no idea if this came from another site or if she went searching for hall & oates but check it out. Caitlin
posted by nancy at 1/11/2006 02:43:00 PM

ets

Today I took the second standardized test that I need to pass to be a certified special educator in the state of Ohio. (Note that I will not be living in Ohio so there is a distinct possibility that I will need to take a variety of other tests to be a certified teacher in another state.) The test was ridiculous, in the most Michael sense of the word. I show up at 10:35, our pass key in says we need to be there at 10:45. The proctor is locked out of the testing room so we do not go in until 11:20. With the standardized directions we do not begin the test until 10:55. I am finished by 11:25 and am forced to sit in the room and stare out the window until 11:55 when we are all allowed to leave. It is like being punished for being a fast reader. The ETS company has a racket with this testing. You pay them ~$150 for every test you take. They are the only company that provides legit study materials which they charge for, from ~$30-$65. I bought none of these and study naught. If I need to retake this test I will be bled for another $150+ and probably study materials. So I can prove to a state I don't live in that my knowledge of critical assessments (usually done by school psychologists --not me--) and historical knowledge of disability law suits will make me a great teacher. bleh.
posted by nancy at 1/07/2006 03:33:00 PM

yes girls
It did get sunny out, briefly, and now it is just cold and spritzy again (that is not quite a drizzle but still needing windshield wipers less than intermittent, got it?)

I added my lovely commenters, and again will make changes when motivation strikes me.
my biggest attitude improvement has come from the pseudo resolution to stop listening to the news so much during my commutes. It is just making me depressed with the state of the world and therefore grumpier at home. Add to that a new bottle of red wine and some sushi and I am a happy girl, and yay! tomorrow is Friday. That is all.
posted by nancy at 1/05/2006 07:34:00 PM

deleted
yeah um, so going into my crappy first week of 2006 I just deleted my whole blog. All the posts since August 2004. I think my writing sucks but this has become such a habit. I feel like I just burnt down my house and lost all the stuff that brings back memories. I guess I gotta go take some ginko biloba now and cry into my bagel with fancy avocado spread that I made for dinner.

to let it all out here are some other things I want to stop happening to make 2006 a better year.
1. slipping on the stairs
2. driving home in thunderstorms with a broken windshield wiper
3. all of my 6 year olds forgetting how to read and calling the letter C --e.
4. receiving whiney emails from professors that talk about the shortness of the quarter and require pre-term reading.
5. being locked out of home after a "Christmas Vacation" in the National Lampoon's context
6. rain (yes I know we need rain to grow things etc etc, but can it just quit it for this week)

please show me your support and I will eventually re link your websites when the sun comes back out
posted by nancy at 1/03/2006 07:42:00 PM

back

look my blog is back!

Yay!

thanks so much to Samantha at blogger support. She rocks my world.

I will try not to be so quick to click okay or so stupid in the future, but no promises.

goal

So I haven't posted for almost a month for no good reason other than I needed to fully apply myself to my procrastination and not writing my thesis wasn't enough, I needed to also ignore this space. My goal for the new year has nothing to do with fitness (though Michael had to forego his full gym routine this morning because so many people are making good on their fitness resolutions) or our wedding plans, moving plans, or thesis writing. I have decided that I need to bring back the chatty letter type emails that I remember from college (undergrad) now my email is something dreadful that contains, bills, junk, work schedules and the like. I think I am going to start writing some nice letter emails to friends in hopes of brightening up my own in box. Wish me luck. Write me back.

snow

it is snowing like crazy here.
I hope tomorrow is a school snow day. One of the fantastic things about working at a school.

what did you do on friday night?

I am much too busy, procrastinating to write a post. I have 2 more finals to write, I am training for my new aba job, teaching an exercise class for kids with autism, teaching 1st and 2nd graders to read. This is what I did to procrastinate tonight.













































Don't you wish I was your roommate?

like you need more reasons to be glad you're not me

I spent the majority of today watching This Old House, Ask This Old House, New Yankee Workshop* and 101 Starlicious Makeovers(E!), while typing a paper on my exciting action research project--creating high self-efficacy in early literacy learners. Woohoo! Go tier one cable with laptop and wireless internet.

(yeah, I know if you were in my position you would be:
1. typing the paper in a secluded office with some ambient music playing in the background
2. watching NASCAR or NY Giants football or some scary show on the PAX network
3. outside enjoying the unseasonably warm fall weather before the (supposed) snow comes on Tuesday
4. using your Tivo or fabulous Netflix to watch more more more TV yay!)

but you didn't make this to enjoy your with your fantastic cable television and laptop free afternoons.














*yay Norm is using a lathe.

yay for commercials for prescription drugs

tired of vague prescription drug commercials? this is hysterical. I got this from wouldashoulda.com.
It reminds me of the purple pill. I didn't know what that was for three years until I asked a nurse at the pharmaceutical company where I worked.

Depressing highway statistics forced into my brain (its not like I can choose not to read them)

Everyday I drive to Kentucky to go to school in Ohio. Over the bridge and around and over the bridge again. In the mornings, once I get on the highway in Kentucky the drive is beautiful. The best part is driving over the bridge back into Ohio, it is very country still and the trees are changing now. Each morning is different. On some days the fog is so thick I can't see the river or even most of the bridge as I drive back over. On other days the mist is thin and the river and surrounding trees look set for a film. It is a gorgeous way to begin the morning and if I didn't stay in bed so late each morning I would be more tempted to pull over and take photographs to document the changes I see each day.
Unfortunately, the drive back in the afternoon is bleh. The sun is bright and bleaches out the landscape and the worst thing is the electronic signs in Kentucky. Most days they proclaim the 2004 Highway deaths in Kentucky compared to the 2005 deaths. This seemed interesting in September, maybe gave me something to think about...then the 2005 numbers began to climb. It started out in September as something like this
2004-976 2005-630
this didn't bother me too much I kind of figured that it would work out to be statistically about the same for 2005 as it was in 2004.
As of today I think the 2005 number has climbed into the mid 800's. Now I know that this year is not going to end on the low side what with all the drinking holidays coming up. So each day I drive past and wonder what the Kentucky Highway people are thinking about when they program these huge electronic signs. Do these depressing statistics make people slow down and start using turn singles or something? Because I certainly haven't seen that around here. In fact I feel that I get passed by speeding SUV's that are swerving from the left and right lanes indiscriminately with no signal while I am speeding along at a good pace or I am moving along and I get stuck behind a decrepit car without a muffler that is chugging along about 10 miles below the speed limit oblivious to other traffic in the far left lane. I don't want any stupid "have a nice day" sign, but I could use some more optimistic statistics. So far the only break I get is for Amber Alerts and that certainly doesn't help my mood.

today is my birthday

and look new glasses











just try to get over the fact that I took this picture of myself. sadly this is about the fourth try. hmmm. I am not very photogenic and damn I need a haircut.

nerdy

I will always be a total nerd because of the extreme stress reduction and satisfaction I get from color coding my calendar. Each project, class, activity has its own color and the more heinous the task the uglier the color.

other stuff:
I broke my glasses at about 11:30pm last night and then spent 1/2 hour trying to glue them back together and wishing that the screw had not snapped in half, so I could do the nerdy pin or paperclip fix. (new glasses pics to come when I am motivated to upload the tons of I have stored on the camera)

beer pong and the nytimes

Joshua sent this link to the NY times article on BEER PONG. He seems to think the Bloomsburg folks are trendsetters, and who knows this may be true. I have been living in Ohio for a little over two years. When we first moved here Michael and I would sit on the stoop with a drink. Michael would lament the lack of organized drinking games in Cincinnati. Then we would watch people play corn hole and shake our heads sadly. Yet, just this fall Michael has had the opportunity to play several games of beer pong. Was it always right here in sad fraternity parties just blocks from our apartment? Or is the trend spreading thanks to a snazzy new bud marketing campaign to promote binge (water) drinking?
Oh and about the article, I thought it was funny that the author didn't mention one state university. I also thought that Edward 40-hands was some sort of OSU joke. And finally I have never played "flippy cup" only flip cup, and maybe that is regional thing, but there is no need to make drinking all cutesy-like and start adding -y's, makes me think of sippy cups.

Feeling down?*

Here's a winner of a site to cheer you up The Death Psychic
here is what I was foretold...
Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by driving into oncoming traffic on the highway.

I like to think that if I felt suicidal I would still think of those innocent other drivers and find some more private way to die, but if you find yourself very unhappy with your psychic death you can revisit and change how you type in your name and get a new one. Lucky you, so many fun ways to die. I think my second try if you are curious revealed an asphyxiation from an unknown food allergy.

*thanks to Jerry's my space bulletin for the link.
** thanks to blogger for trying to suggest jerky in place of the name Jerry.

mmm pickles and chips

Weddings make people crazy---its true and its a mom quote to boot.
my solution? be gone homework, I will spend the evening eating pickles and chips and watching an episode of the tv show, Wife Swap. In this one, a nature mommy switches places with a pageant mommy. Its horrible. I am loving it. wedding craziness? nothing a little bad tv can't fix. (keep in mind I don't have cable or else I would be watching some iron chef or something else suitable that is not on network tv.)
mmm, let me make another pickle and chip sandwich. yum.

too tired to redo

So I wrote this long worthless post bemoaning my recent closet purge of all tight pants and now wondering what to do seeing as how I have mysteriously lost my stomach bulge without exercising (except for that 1/4 mile I ran and bragged about in an earlier post) Now I am extolling the virtues of the drawstring waist pants and thinking about having a wine and pasta party to make it up to myself. Blogger went down 5 minutes before I hit post and all was lost BOO! You should be happy you missed the long version, even I was bored.
then there was a part about how my students can't read and how it seems to be rubbing off on me, but I'm sure I'll get to that later.
2. There is a little girl in one of my reading groups, who can't read (surprised right?). She does (unlike her little squirmy friends pay some attention to the book) When I ask questions about the story, she raises her hand and mostly answers correctly by looking at the pictures. This is a great beginning reading strategy that I want the other group members to learn. So I ask her "How did you know that?" her standard answer "Because I'm so smart." (sound like anyone we know? I'm looking at you amy marie). Then I have to add, "and you looked at the picture" doesn't work quite as well as I'd hoped.

more food

I am enjoying this free time in my afternoon. And not having evening classes every night of the week is nice too. This evening I went running with Michael. (or more, he went running and I ran a lap and then walked 4 more) The red track on campus is very squishy. I foolishly thought my lungs would hurt and make me quit first but my knee won the race and twingingly told me to start doing my physical therapy exercise again or reap the consequences. I am taking this seriously by sitting on my butt and playing on the internet. Also tonight I made, Italian Wedding Soup, a guacamole/salsa concoction, and a tomato basil bruschetta topping. Then I made the actual bruschetta from a yummy French loaf with olive oil and real garlic.
Lots of recipes if anyone is interested I will take the time to type some up and email or post them.

tomorrow's lunch choices

ready boys and girls?
hot dog on a bun

or

fish treasures?

what is a fish treasure? only the brave will find out. The substitue teacher in class advised one 1st grader that it was probably like a fish stick. And no, it wasn't like a treasure with rubies and such.

mmm. yum. now I have to get my own lunch.
maybe chicken salad with apples and walnuts.

a boring update and a lunch survey

So here is a boring update of my life/weekend.

• classes started for me on Thursday, things seem okay, but damn here comes the collaborative group work again, and then there's the whole buying books thing. bleh
• I am only doing half days at school now. This is cool because I have never had free time in the afternoon like this. Maybe I will be productive and use it for work. or maybe I will start watching general hospital or something like that. doubtful I am more of an E! true hollywood kind of girl.
  
• I had a flashback to undergrad when I got home from my half day of work Friday. After grocery shopping and other errands, Michael and I had a drink and watched a movie. Then I called Alyssa and realized what I am really doing used to be a frat house thing in Bloom called a 6 to 9. It evolved into more of a 6-1am sort of event as the event moved locations. A fun evening was had by all as Michael got the chance to play beer pong with Coors Light while I drank a pretty decent (AND FREE) magarita in a frat house.
• I can't believe I just typed that last bullet I am REALLY OLD. But you would have enjoyed this Margarita too. I know ....it was so tasty.
  
• Saturday I volunteered at the YMCA exercise class for kids with Autism. (if I am lucky I will get paid for that, this will come in handy for those of you expecting Christmas presents from me)
• Today I bought one of my books for class and I read the Preface (man I think of the geekiest ways of procrastinating) Then we went to see Corpse Bride with the last of the Free movie tickets, yay...now I can pay to go see indie films instead of feeling trapped in my billions of free crappy movie theater tickets.
  
• Finally, in my widely exciting weekend I made my own chicken stock.
  

Well as you can see here, non-stop fun and excitement on this front.

One other thing I have been thinking of, Food. Right, like I am always thinking of food but this is in a different way, not just the "what food do I want in my mouth and tummy" kind of way.
People I work with eat a lot of crappy food. Things that come in boxes, that are prepackaged with extra food coloring, and with the labels proclaiming E Z prep. They have a lot of weird food things such as the girl that eats hotdogs dipped in apple sauce and the older lady that eats these interesting wrapped meat and cheese and condiment things that must be like some sort of Atkins/heartattack type lunch also the girl that doesn't eat any nuts and makes fun of me and another girl that eat fruit, (she calls us "healthy" and then laughs). Even better the cafeteria serves the kids such lovely items like mini corn dogs and fresh pizza bake. I don't know what that is....is it pizza? is it pasta? who knows?
I am so relieved not to be there at lunch now that I leave at 12:30. I can go home and eat what I want because obviously whatever sandwich or fruit or vegetable I am eating is entirely alien and disgusting to all parties involved.
What do you eat for lunch?

small children keep hugging me

It is highly disconcerting.


and sad


because the kids I need to work with are crying or refusing to work, and other random kids I don't know very well keep hugging me.

I guess this is what happens in 1st and second grade. oh I guess hugs, tears, and the whole learning to read thing.

just a reminder...

in case you forgot to celebrate properly, today is Talk Like a Pirate Day.
I enjoyed it thoroughly with the first graders who love pirates and saying "Arg, Mateys!" and waving imaginary hooks around.

Not so much with the second graders, who managed to forget everything they learned over their entire school career in just one short weekend. fun. Lucky for me they are only in second grade so we should be able to whip them into shape in a few days...weeks....months....lifetimes.


Also, I am volunteering with a kids exercise class sometimes. Those of you trying to get into shape should take note: skipping is hard work.

how I love this job I pay UC to attend every day...

So I've already had students sent home with lice and more throwing up, and to top it all off it seems like I make two kids cry everyday. In my defense all the sick/crawly kids are back in school. AND, its not really my fault if they cry in this situation.
unnamed 1st grader "How are you?"..."good work!"..."Get out your crayons!"..."Let's count ready 1, 2, 3..." student response, "Wahhhhh! I miss my mommy!"
Now truthfully, tell me, is that my fault.
Today, I felt like the meany meaniest teacher. Frustrated and tired of saying things like, "Get to work", "Pick up your pencil" "Now start here and write", "No, erase that, we need a BIG M not a little m", "This is your warning!". Arg, or as Caitlin and Nora would say BARG!
Yesterday was much cuter kid-wise, as are most days that I interact with students not on my roster. You know ones that are wearing clean clothes that can pronounce their R's. I am so mean, and yes, I know this is sped and truthfully I like my "poor pitiful Pearl's and Peter's"*
But really you need to know that I talk a lot of shit but I am not really bad. And usually I have patience that astounds even me. And hey, tonight I spent the evening creating a PAC-MAN board game to help my 1st graders learn to count. Because they are beyond the Hi-Ho Cherry-O game, but not yet ready to use two dice because 11 and 12 are still a mystery.**
The game is cute. I will take a picture just after I laminate it. Yes this is my life and lamination is super cool. how pathetic.

*reference of a prof. last year the opposite being, little miss princess / mr. prince
** hell sometimes 3-10 are still a mystery

more school (this seems to be a recurring theme, can you handle it?)

Today there was only one 1st grade crier and one bloody nose. I think statistically things are improving but it is too early to say. I spend most of the day helping people write letters and numbers and point along to words as someone else reads outloud....describing reading strategies and helping to sound out, also telling little ones they can go to the bathroom, get a tissue, get a drink etc. I also spend a lot of time saying things like "no, not that way turn it around" which unless you do this all the time you might not remember that p's and b's and d's look a lot the same to a 1st grader, or that 2's and 5's can also flip around and look awfully confusing. Hmm, school is definitely difficult, especially when I need to remember things like, which way does the < point to mean less than, and which way for greater? Did I learn this and, more importantly can I keep it straight when looking at someone's worksheet upside down from across the table? I swear I am sped too, and I hope that makes me good at this.

I don't like to use this as a space to really discuss anything other than the bleh stuff that fills my brain and might be vaguely amusing to my friends. However, most of what fills my brain these days (past the daily learning of letters and numbers, IEP's, autism and dyslexia) is New Orleans. I couldn't really even watch an entire news broadcast last week and in the car I would switch back from NPR news, to a song on my CD player, to the news again, because the news would make me cry with anger (whenever bush talks) and then sadness (all the snapshots of survival amidst devastation) For more reading of blogs that say things better than I can, try here or here. There are many more but these two are the ones I glanced at before I started writing this, so I thought I would share.