surrogate husband

Michael's friend Bart is staying with us through the rest of the week. He is in his words my surrogate husband of the week. He is staying at my house soaking up alcohol and cable television. He is providing conversation in the evenings and I think there is a possibility that he even cleaned up a little. Granted there are only few Michael's in the world who will do dishes and laundry but, having conversation in the evenings while Michael is busy working 2-3 jobs and driving all over Los Angeles is preferable to drinking wine by myself, while perseverating on the overall suckiness of my job and its possible legal entanglements. And see this is it I posted again in November.
Tomorrow is a field trip. My first at this school. I would be nervous about this but this day was so stressful and this week was so stressful I feel nothing can top that. I might even convince Bart to chaperone. Wish me luck.

More obvious reasons why I shouldn't post daily

Today (in bullets):

• another horrific day at school 2 assistants out, no calls back from administration, lots of children testing limits due to changes, one incredibly useless sub assistant

alright that was harsh-the day was tough but not horrific, some minor injuries but everyone went home intact (I think), the new assistant was young and followed direct instruction so in many ways had use

• getting back 90% of my Friday field trip permission slips
• PTA babysitting
• dinner in Pasadena with Bill (mmmm, mini sliders and beer, I needed comfort food)

Then

• successfully picking up Bart from Union station in one of those amazing pick-ups where you pull up at the curb and the person walks out of the terminal at the exact same time, then you see the person before you can even hit their number on your speed dial. It is the best
  

Monday Monday

Today it was incredibly difficult to get out of bed. Then I remembered that I forgot to adjust my alarm clock an hour back. Not much, but a little bit easier.
Last night, the boys came over and cooked me dinner. They are the best. I was dragging from the winey brunch and I guess just life in general, but managed to sip some more wine and eat hummus and very spicy avocado and brie and other yummy munchy things. All around an ideal Nancy dinner involving sitting around and talking with friends, good music and picky food all laid out on the coffee table. RT got me Mylittlepony plates and b-day sign and those funky non-noisy making party favors of the expanding paper variety. He planned to get me my little ponies too, to play with. I don't think I have every had one. too girly. and now remembering television commericials of the 80's "and you can even brush her hair.." still so sweet and birthday like. I am still getting birthday presents and that is nice.
This post is very very boring.

Day 3 still going

I know that unless you know me this is very difficult to read. I am a haphazard editor at best and I rarely use correct punctuation to get my point across. Early on, my sister said reading this made her feel like she was back in our shared bedroom and could reach out her hand across the foot of space between our twin beds to touch me. I like that, so I am saving my editing for my professional writing: grants, papers and IEPs (Individualized Education Programs). It is 7:52am and I feel that the sound of my typing probably sounds like a herd of elephants to the very sleep deprived Michael. He found a beautiful hotel for us to stay for my birthday and then in typical fashion worked overnight writing music and then stayed up all the next day to get things prepared to go. (things being clean kitchen, laundry, car washed, oil changed, suspected birthday present buying) I am a very lucky person. So instead of taking photos of this beautiful room I will stop typing now and let him sleep.

wait wait I still have some photos on my computer from the great external hard drive move of '07
Here is a picture of Michael and his friend Bart at our old place in Cincinnati. I think I have seen this one in an email somewhere titled bedroom eyes.

day 2 late but here

Crazy day at school. Severely understaffed but with the most responsive understanding assistants ever. Seriously.
Home and then to San Diego. Lots of fun singing at the top of my lungs in the car. Being made fun of by Michael who continues to criticize my IPOD music (though he did not bring his) and it is my Birfday weekend so he must listen to Elliot Smith and Postal Service and Regina Spektor and anything else depressing and emotive that I desire, interspersed with Beatles, Otis Redding, Aretha, Dire Straits so in reality nothing to complain about.
We have a beautiful hotel room in The Bristol. Fancy shmancy for sure. We spent the evening with my extremely extended family having wine. Extremely extended equaling, cousin in law's once removed that I call Aunt, and Uncle, and second cousins. In short things are very very good, and wine infused. Also, Hurray I actually posted for the second day in a row.

posting

People that write these things seem to be doing a thing where they post everyday in November. I pretty much stopped writing on here so maybe that type of thing will be the impetus to get me going. I stopped writing because my job in many ways is sucking. The nature of my job makes most of the sucking confidential or at the very least wildly inappropriate to complain about in an online forum. Lucky for me I have some fabulous co-workers who seem to be endlessly supportive in listening to me bitch. Wow, now I feel like they deserve some cookies. Or maybe some margaritas.
As for the job, the kids are great, very cute, and snotty (in a nasal drainage sort of way not in an uppity sort of way). From them I received the gift of a horrific stomach virus. Very fast way to lose ten pounds, eat nothing but Gatorade for 4 days, then have a saltine cracker. This will make you very weak and lazy, but bored to tears. If you are me you will be taunted by unopened cans of paint for the living room. You will need to paint at least one wall. This is accomplished by painting 1'x1' sections and then resting on the couch to admire each section for 10 minutes. But then Michael helped me with the other walls.
This is very rambly. This Sunday is my birthday. I am going to San Diego. It will be good. My expectations for good are low. Nice hotel sheets, cable, wine, and sleeping in. I think Michael and Bart will want to go outside the hotel. I may consider this option. Tonight, I am looking forward to some delicious ginger chicken from my favorite Thai place, and drinking one of these gingerades, must be in a ginger mood. Finally, wah my throat is sore.

claps

Do you remember claps?
Here is the little kid clap I have heard the kindergartners at my school singing. The kids at my school tried to do it in groups of three at warp speed and then someone would inevitably smack someone else in the face and they would get all exasperated and try again.

slow part
ice tea clap clap clap lemonade clap clap clap coca-cola clap clap clap pepsi clap clap clap
double time
ice tea clap clap clap lemonade clap clap clap coca-cola clap clap clap pepsi clap clap clap
say (and do) the following
turn around, touch the ground, kick your boyfriend out of town

Well now that you know I expect you to go out and teach your friends and all the little girls on your block.


I am on summer vacation. No I am not working (in the making money sense). or volunteering, or doing much of anything. And the beautiful thing is I don't plan to. It is lovely. I am being a dork and watching lots of HGtv, and Food Network, and in between times cleaning my house, going out to lunch, and reading lots of books. Are you using GoodReads yet? You should be. I am using it to track books I read and ones people tell me to read. Its working out much better than the little slips of paper I usually use and then lose. I changed my phone number so if you know me and you don't have it send me an email. I may feel more inclined to write here now that I am not exhausted from hauling around small children, or worried about confidentiality issues. Not much confidentiality involved in cleaning floors while watching Hey Paula!, wow that's a trainwreck. If you need clarity in your own life. Someone to reassure you that life is not bad; 10 minutes of that show will make you feel like the most normal, most sane person on Earth.
This is my first week off. I foresee more time at the beach and I hope for more wine in the future.
Wine tastings anyone? Anyone in this case being Amy.

internet special sauce

Well my daily affirmations must be working (thanks! Stuart Smalley) because I feel special in a very dorky internet sort of way. I got a little mention from a blog I read (one of so many because my life is so very short on actual books and heavy on internet musings). So, just in case one of my readers (Hi Mom!) is interested here is the link.
IKEA HACKERS
This is a very cool blog that explains how people (very cool creative people) screw around with their Ikea furniture or furniture components to make them less factory and more personal.


Other life news:
School generally still sucks even though kindergartners are unbearably cute. I am invariable short staffed 4 out of 5 school days. Today, I held a bucket so one of my cuties could throw up in it while he uncontrollably cried and his face blazed red with fever. I want to say something here about all the other snot and children pilfering my desk and beating up on other kids but I can't keep thinking about it at night. I just have to do what I can do and watch enough bad t.v. to numb my brain. I can't wait to get back to thinking about actual lessons and teaching and away from the damage control and cross fingers to hope no one goes home injured kind of school day.
Other life is good and relaxing. Last night Michael got me Thai Food and we watched Street Car Named Desire. Tonight I have prepared homemade Big Mac's (thanks to Ryland and Jake).
So Yummy! and not sick making yucky fast food...but they still taste good. Thanks Secret Sauce a.k.a. Thousand Island Dressing.

the why didn't I think of this years ago
Homemade Big Macs
ingredients:
Ground Turkey
Romaine Letuce
Sesame Seed Buns
Butter (low fat if you are Jake and Ryland, the real stuff for me)
Thousand Island Dressing
almost minced onions
Tomato and Pickle (if you so desire)

Make ground turkey patties and cook in a skillet. Chop onion super super tiny like they have at McD's. Slice Romaine lettuce into thin shreds. Thinly slice tomato and pickle (you can chop extra pickles super fine for the dressing if you want). Spread melted butter on inside of Sesame seed buns and toast in skillet.
Put burger together with liberal amounts of special sauce.
yum.

monthly posts?

Yeah, typical of me, I never post here. I think about it, but mostly what I want to post these days is shut down by job confidentiality or my own conscience.
So instead here is some insipid tripe.

• I am watching 13 going on 30 tonight and feeling very cranky
• Work is really hard and I have had a cold for a month. (ew)
• I like stupid teen movies. Especially if they include choreographed dance scenes. In fact, all stupid teen movies should include choreographed dance scenes.
• I am a grown up (30 in fact). Case in point, tonight I wanted to just drink wine and eat chips, but instead I made broccoli and pasta in a basil garlic butter sauce and garlic bread. (howdy dragon, breath) then I had wine with my yummy dinner. I may go have some chips now though.
• I am exercising (walking with a friend from work), multiple days a week. Just because it is healthy.

still a child?

• When I watch stupid movies like this or Sex and the City I want to drink colored drinks from martini glasses. In real life I should really not drink even water from a martini glass because I usually slop it all over myself.
• I realized yesterday that I should always buy name brand Ibuprofen because it is bright orange and easy to find a tiny pill on the bathroom floor after (in typical fashion) I drop one trying to get the lid back on the bottle.

last questions:

• Could I be any more incoherent?
• When will summer be here?
• Is it possible for me to write a narrative/journal type entry here without resorting to using bullet points?
  

the end (for tonight...or until next month)

-if you want to see my craptastic taste in movies you can be my Netflix friend just email me.

The Thanksgiving Post

Today my husband (ha, isn't that a funny word? I am still working on using it in daily conversation, anyway) Today, Michael and I are driving down to San Diego to have fancy Thanksgiving dinner with my cousin Amy and her husband (the chef/very important government lawyer guy), my pseudo Uncle John (actually 1st cousin once removed/also some sort of fancy rights protecting lawyer guy) and his wife Karen (who I can't write anything real in parenthesis about because I don't really know her yet).
I, unfortunately, am up at 7am so the drive and the turkey tryptophan effect (if that is true) combined with my love for the vino, should have me passing out in the guest bedroom shortly after dinner. Oh, and in this family we do dinner at a reasonable hour. None of that middle of the afternoon nonsense. If you do that, how do you fit in appetizers and cocktails? Also, as much as I love wine, the idea of cracking open a bottle to have dinner at 11:30am is even a little much for me.
Amy has reported that she has been banned from the kitchen today, which would be funnier if the kitchen was larger and could feasibly fit two cooks with the oven door open. This cozy group of 6 will be a welcome change from my last Thanksgivings, one at my parent's house with 23 of my closest relatives and 3 toddlers, and one at our apartment in Cincinnati where Michael and tried to starve everyone and didn't serve dinner until around 7pm because I was so excited about cooking my first turkey that I continually opened the oven door to baste the turkey, thereby bring the oven temperature down substantially and making the turkey cook in twice the expected time. Whew, how's that for a run on.
The almost-Thankful Part
In my crappy Monday staff meeting, I obligatorily told the staff that I was thankful for having all of my assistants in my class. I repeated this when we did what I am thankful for with the kiddos so they would have some examples (ooohh modeling remember it is Kindergarten), and then I prompted each of my kid's to raise their hand to come up front and say they were thankful for their Mommies.
Yesterday I found out that the school is replacing my assistants with other people. I don't think the people in charge understand that having to train staff is almost like having extra little kids around for a month. Now I am just hoping the replacement is quick and painless.
But really, I am thankful I have a wonderful husband. (there's that word again and ugh that sentence makes me want to gag, but seriously he kicks ass; does the laundry, cooks yummy food, brings me fizzy drinks, and wakes me up to go to bed when I fall asleep on the couch)
I am thankful that I have such a wonderful family on both coasts, who I can visit with and eat lots of food with over the holidays. And most of all I am thankful that I can be stressed about the trivial things in life from my own comfortable home. I do not have to worry about my own daily living conditions. I can feel sorrow over the tragedy and unfair conditions in my community and my world in the awareness that I am healthy and safe in my place in the world. And as much as my little snotty monsters make me crazy, I see them learning (some very slowly, but learning) and I am thankful for the small changes, I can make with my little guys everyday. (Whoa, preachy anyone? Now I have to go find some light Thanksgiving humor writing to read)
Well here is something amusing from last year, I am not sure anyone drinking can report back this early in the morning even on the east coast.

travel 2

I just found this post when I was adding labels to old posts (while half assedly watching the moving Munich ahh Spielbert (this was a typo that I am leaving in now because it cracks me up--the movie was scratched and unwatchable in the end). Anyway, I realized that I have been in a lot more states this summer, so here is my new map.

The first time I did it I forgot Missouri and the states didn't connect. I had to ask Michael what state I missed. Now it is fixed. He said "Missouri, remember St. Louis."and I said "Oh yeah, the arch."

the more I don't post

The bigger the task of posting becomes...so then I can't do it because my life feels like a novel, too long for this format.
So here is the bullet point update to get things rolling again.
October/early-November bullet synopsis

• I got married (it was rainy and fun)
• It was on the east coast and full of family and drinks and beach and rain and coastal flood warnings
• teaching is hard
  
• and as much as I hate the whiney teacher mantra about not getting paid enough etc. This is the hardest most stressful job, I've ever had.)--that being said
• I still like small children (They are cute and huggy --though often snotty--that is runny nosed not stuck up)
• I went to a week long literacy training and actually missed my kids
• I turned 30
• this involved 2 yummy dinners, a yummy breakfast,
  
• a visit from Amy
  
• and a pseudo surprise party with Michael's friends/classmates and significant others who were fantastic stand in friends
  

ta da, now I posted. All comment based questions shall be answered forthwith.
I don't actually know what forthwith means but it sounds official.

um yeah new crazy stuff

I haven't posted in a while, because my sheer exhaustion after a whole school day with developmentally delayed kindergarteners makes me useless. But I am still here. The wedding approaches. And I am just taking it all one day at a time. I only plan enough schoolwork to get through one more day (semi) successfully. We have sung songs, danced, read many stories, worked on puzzles, and created silly kindergarten art projects. We are working on walking in a line, finalizing a daily schedule, inside voices, raising hands, not eating inedible puzzle pieces, sitting for 5-10 minutes at a time without wandering away. The school system will be one I am awkwardly navigating for sometime. The bureaucracy between the school and the special education offices will be one I will struggle forever, or until I leave. Everyone is fantastic and helpful, but within the administration if it is special ed. I should talk to someone else because it is not their job, and if I call SPED it is the schools' job. This makes all the tantrums, biting, hair pulling, wet pants and disobedience seem like nothing. I am tired. But I am enjoying the smiles, the smartypants, the hugs, the burgeoning language, the helpful kindergarten teachers, and above all QUIET TIME my saving grace.

the weekend debriefing

I feel like I should do a boring weekend recap. Partly because I have been posting pretty regularly and partly because I am on the "left" coast. (a quote from one of Michael's many high school friends) and I feel that I should try to keep in touch with any east (or right) coast friends that read this.

So, the obligatory bullet point weekend retrospective:

Friday afternoon

• ADR work for some random crime movie (this entails doing silly voice overs for crowd scenes of movies to sound like the crowd) Hooked up through Michael's dad's childhood friend (said in a Long Island, New York Italian accent "from da neighborhood") received checks (woohoo! not quite as poor)[I don't know what ADR stands for, though Michael tells me the R stands for Recording and I told him I thought the A stood for Audio, and he said no)
  
• Dinner with friends-lots of yummy food, an apartment that is gorgeously decorated, and a glass of red wine unceremoniously dumped on my linen beach pants (picture this: me and a good looking young man, a camera comes out and someone wants a picture of us we move together and he moves to swiftly run his fingers through his hair, swings his arm around abruptly and slams the bottom of my wine glass, the glass goes flying into the air--along with its newly poured contents all over the apartment (and my pants) with itty bitty shards of broken glass. Lucky me, these people are so cool there was a quick clean up, and a pair of drawstring replacement pants, as well as a new drink. Yay!)

Saturday

• I am lazy; Michael goes to a recording session.
  
• We both attend a children's community theatre production of Annie! (doesn't it deserve the exclamation point, just like E!)
• Go out for Mexican food, and a show break down (synopsis: cute kids, glad we went to see the one we know, Daddy Gaybucks may have some actual talent if he can lose the sibilant S)

Sunday

• I am still lazy; Michael goes to another recording session.
• Grocery shopping, laundry, bill paying
  
• cable television (including the movie The United States of Leland--quite intense, lots of names)
  
• preparation for tomorrow: lunch making, mapquesting, paperwork preparation

In complete retrospect:
Oh, my, god, Sunday was boring, why did I even include it?
I am obsessed with commas and parentheses (am I not?)
I need to learn how to make stories like the wine incident sound funnier (I mean it isn't often you go home from a dinner party wearing another man's pants.)

I finished a really good book A Child in Time, by Ian McEwan
I really didn't want to start this book because my stress was begging for a Devil Wears Prada, type of cushy girl reading. Instead I got desperate and ploughed on through as is typical for me when I am short on reading materials. (of course my copy is from the library)

Here is my favorite quote:

"To have a destination, a place where you were expected, a shred of identity, was such a relief after a month of game shows and Scotch. To show his pass to the familiar taciturn guard, to saunter across the marble hall among well-dressed, self-important people, to penetrate deep into the building, knowing without giving the matter a thought which staircases and corridors to take, to arrive at just the room and make small talk with colleagues, to sip coffee from the plastic cups bearing the ministry's stamp, bought from a machine in the corridor that dispensed onion soup down the same nozzle -- it was for little repetitions like these that people kept their jobs, however dull. It was all Stephen could do to refrain from bursting into song."(p. 155)

In one paragraph, my life, the last month full of television and wine versus the previous years of alarm clocks and office work, summed up. I can't wait to be back to the bored me that knows how to get places and who will be there when I arrive. Then I can add my own drama through weekend trips around the city or out of town.

evil things, good things

I just got off the phone with the certificated personnel HR lady. She now informs me (not really a surprise but irritating nonetheless) that she doesn't expect to hear from the state for 3-4 weeks. Hmm, that would be after school starts, and after all my training and orientation. Oh, she has new information...if it doesn't go through I can reapply for an emergency certification or for a one year certification, but they like to wait to hear about the full on certification first. Good of her to tell me this now. Then she says the contract will only be for one year (at this point does she think I care, whether it is for one year or ten, I just want the paycheck and the stability). I am taking this to mean that no matter what the first outcome, I will have a job (just not an ongoing contract). I will also take this to mean that when they deny my cool person certification I will have to go get another money order for $55 and try to get another kind of not as cool person certificate. She didn't say that, I just believe that is what will occur. I would love to be able to have one conversation that involves all the required information and not some half-assed version.

the good things?
I also just got off the phone with my former landlord, who apologized repeatedly and told me he is putting my security deposit in the mail tomorrow. This was fine with me, because now I know it is coming and it is coming to my new address.

I started a blog at blogsome under the same name. I think I might move over there because it looks like an easy way to categorize posts. I'll have to see how lazy I am about actually setting it up. You should check it out if you are interested in a banner that has cute puppies. Other than that there is not much going on over there.

Are you watching Project Runway tonight? Do you hope neck tattoo leaves just so you don't have to look at his neck tattoo any longer? Do you have a fun group of people that you watch with or do you have your own version of Michael who will be falling asleep on the aforementioned comfy IKEA chair when he is not to busy making fun of my taste in reality television. If it were up to him we would be watching World Poker Tournament all the time.

the healthy and creative pact

Michael has proposed (starting yesterday) that we each try to do one healthy thing and one creative thing each day. Similar to New Year's resolutions that I fail to keep or even to make for that matter-- we seek to better ourselves*(I hear this in a snooty accent)--or at least look pretty good for the wedding and not go crazy from working all the time and never doing anything for ourselves. The idea is a good one because it is far to easy for me to fall into patterns of work and school that involve breaks in the evening only to eat a bag of chips drink a couple glasses of wine and start all over the next day. Barring gifts for friends I haven't really painted throughout the time I was in graduate school, so the proposed creative/healthy streak is Michael's effort to get me back in gear and not let himself fall into an all work all the time routine with schoolwork. Examples of our healthy and creative things are easy to think up, but of course much harder to actually get my butt off the comfy IKEA chair to do. One day for me might include playing with some watercolors and going on a long walk, for Michael it might be nightly push-ups and sketching out a piece of music that is not for school. I am immediately behind one day because I did crunches and push ups yesterday but no truly creative thing. Though my lazy procrastinating self is already cheating the pact by thinking of things I did that could fit into the creative part. I printed all the wedding invitations and double checked the envelopes, I made a quick chicken stir fry for dinner...that's creative!, how about if I floss tonight?, that's healthy right? But truthfully the creative and healthy things need to be separate from the daily things. So Michael can't count his walk to the bus stop and I can't count cooking because we do these things every day. Instead our creative and healthy things need to be more intentional and more suited to our creative outlets musical and artistic and become more physically active. So today I prepped a canvas (that's the start to something creative) and maybe later I will do some yoga stretches.

3 reasons why I am happy to no longer be in Ohio

1. 6:30 am phone call 513 area code (when I called the west coast --or for that matter anywhere out of my time zone I did some quick math. EST --> PST = -3 hours, dumbass) I scramble around and find my phone ringing in my bag from the beach yesterday ( the beach, woo hoo I went to the beach) moving on.
2. ME-recognize Cinci area code in haze of sleep answer the phone formally, "Hello, this is formal first name I never actually use, (but I was expecting this woman to return my phone call yesterday)" HER "This is _____ from U of C. You are one of those special ed people." ME-"?" "um, no, I don't think..." "You were in a special program" ME-again "?" "No, I was in the master's in special ed..." HER-"Whatever, Doesn't matter." ME thinking (then why did you ask?) HER-"Anyway, you want this sent to this address?"
3. um my 6:30 am physic abilities must be subpar..."I would like the certificate sent to my NEW address at 123 SPANISH name (pronounced phonetically in English) STREET in LA" HER-"Is that how you say that name?" Me-(thinking)-no, actually, that's how I say that name but anyone else would roll an R or an N or something like that.

It is still so early in the morning I can't believe I had this conversation. I wanted to ask her to expedite the damn papers that she should have mailed to my old address (and which would have been forwarded by the post office with all of my other mail to my new address), but I feared change to what already seemed like her unsettling job of mailing out teaching certificates might send her over the edge and then I would never see the document.

UPDATE --I finally received the certificate it only took 12 DAYS!!! 12 days is that like 3rd class mail or a really lazy university adminstrator.

apartment _check

internet and 3 months of premium digital cable_not til tuesday
furniture in storage thing_hopefully today

more later

Incommunicado

My internet connector thing must be returned to the store tonight before 7. Tomorrow afternoon some people will come and deliver a container in front of my apartment. (I am crossing my fingers that a bored traffic cop does not feel the need to come to my neighborhood and write me a ticket, especially because the city of Cincinnati was so helpful when we called about getting a permit, mmhmm, I'll miss Cincinnati).
There is, of course, more packing cleaning and organizing to do. The move has taken over and when it is complete I can resume letting the wedding or my new job anxieties take over after the cross country driving and apartment finding anxieties subside. The next two weeks will be our usual east coast tour with the added bonuses (bonusi?) of attending a wedding, going "down the shore" to do some of our own wedding planning, and a Murphy bridal shower (the Murphy part implies wine and beer and absolutely NO party games). When next we meet I may be on the west coast (or using some found wifi in mid-travels). Wish me luck on the apartment hunting.

now

I am a graduate. But I didn't go to graduation, just to the CCM picnic for free food and to see Nora once more before she goes to Italy. Free food tastes yummy. The apartment is very packed up. The futon is leaving with a friend of Michael's this afternoon. So this evening I plan on lying on a lonely mattress in the living room and reading or watching library rented episodes of sex and the city. The LA apartment fell through so we are just going to drive out there and then figure out what to do next. Hopefully, some family will feel sorry for us and save us the hotel costs while we figure it out. Michael said today that every June something momentous happens that changes everything. I always thought of it as August or September with the start of new school or jobs, but it is true. Does that stop? or does it continue that way?