personal soundtrack continues

"she drives me crazy ha ha....like no one else ha ha...."
so I finally had the opportunity to meet with my prof today and argue about the ridiculousness of her giving me a C+ ahg! and I am so cool calm and collected that as the tension escalated and I was not getting through to her I realized I was going to be late for my other class, and that I was about to burst into tears and I told her as I left the office that hers was "the worst class I have ever taken and I would have learned more if I just read the book" I am so mature. so then I raced of to class, first trying to stop in the ladies room for a quick cry or at least to spash some cold water on my face and the closest restroom to my class was locked (what is up with that! who locks a public restroom what is happening are homeless people sleeping in there? I wouldn't mind if they just kept it unlocked) so instead I just go to class late (so not me) while in class trying to bite back more tears and writing the word angry over and over again on a scrap piece of paper my new prof calls on me first to tell the rest of the class about myself. When everyone finishes the intros he points out, that it is nice to have two students in the class not from a UC undergrad. The other student went to tufts and harvard (I went Bloomsburg, a small state school in pennsylvania). Then later my phone rings (oops forgot to turn it off on the rush into class) Finally, he calls on me again calling me Bloomsburg because he can't find his class list and asks me where the garden of eden was located...if I had any brains left at this point I would have told him that the point is moot as the garden of eden is a myth and if you would like me to guess on the origins of man I can do so but I do not believe in the Christian ethos of such. Instead I shrug and my brain starts singing Babylon...I am so sped. and who needs an IPOD with this personal soundtrack.

luhval

thank you kate for the wonderful time in Louisville. I saw five plays this weekend....had more culture and beer and wine than I have all year. do y'all know that bars in louisville are open til 4am. (yep now I am saying y'all surely that is what living in the south and then a getting a little too close to kentucky can do to you.)

other stuff:
school started back up yesterday but I dropped my monday class due to mental overload. something about dr's appt, hangover residue, rain and cold, reaffirming my lovely C+ is the "correct grade", finding out from my oh so thorough doctor that my thyroid seems enlarged and being told that I am awfully moley and should visit a dermatologist, coming home and being unable to use my keys to open the outside door to the apartment, standing in the rain, feeling like a moron for not being able to use my keys in the door --but dude they worked yesterday...little bit too long of a day for me.
better
so today I am looking better (I guess), feeling better, aware that there are problems with the profs in my department that I will just have to deal with for another year, aware -thanks to deborah-that my thorough dr.-should not be writing me prescriptions for medication but should instead be asking me to return for tests and should be recommending me to an endocrinologist if it is really something to worry about, further realizing that if she spent more than 5 minutes shooting questions in my direction she would understand that most of my thyroid symptoms are the symptoms of my life....and equal to stress and 2 days of continuous drinking in luaville. la la la....are you still reading, don't you wish I typed slower and used punctuation more. no really ...you love it.
finally
I am pretty sure that my advisor, when speaking about health issues in sped, used the word depository when he meant to say suppository. don't want to know where he does his banking.

talk to you soon, will try to use more punctuation then.

if you are interested

all of my other grades are in.
all A's
and one
C+
starting to feel more crazy now.
making jokes about, but truthfully thinking that, maybe I handed in the wrong paper, or maybe I handed in my paper with a couple pages torn off the back. hmmm.

for Nora on why I won't be attending the Ludlow Pinot tasting...

because you asked amy and because it made you laugh...here is some for posterity
Amy-
you know, I liked Sideways but when you mention that story, I think
I'll need to avoid wine tastings for a while. Kind of like after that
episode of Seinfeld, when you were waiting at the movies, everyone was
saying, "No this is this ticket HOLDER'S line." Apparently, the
movie has done a lot for Pinot Noir, and at first I didn't like that I
would look trendy when ordering it, as I have been rocking the pinot
for years. But now I'm just happy because I can get pinot by the
glass everywhere. I know that was really interesting.

Nancy-
I feel the same about the Pinot. and I am indebted to you for
introducing me to it
the pretention gets old especially cause michael likes table red wine
and if given the choice buys carlo rossi piasano by the jug. so it is annoying
to hear people say things like "oh that place only had table wine."
dude a cheap red is great for a big spaghetti dinner. better than
wasting a tasty red with ragu when it can of course be enjoyed more
with some chex mix and bad tv.

and so ...I am indebted to amy for the pinot noir, her to me for the red zin, me to uncle bob and my dad for the red zin...which makes me remember the first time I tried it after a holiday meal, my dad kept saying "do you want to try some zinfindel?" and I kept saying "no, gross, what is wrong with you" the men insisted it was wonderful...I had no idea there was a red zinfindel and I thought if these two crazy men kept trying to force pink wine on me because I was a girl I was going to get really pissed. then I realized....RED zinfindel....what a wonderful thing. this wine packs a punch, it beats up your mouth. yum

so amy did you ever try the little penguin? so cheap and so tasty.
and nora, wine tastings ...we should do one with the wine at my house right now...that way we can polish off the bottles we like in the name of tasting with no need to swirl and spit.

more momism (on a better note)

what is a better note? is it sweeter sounding?

anyway here are the good things.
two other grades I have so far ...both A's...thought they were going to be A minuses so that is cool

HIGHLY exciting news. Michael got accepted to the Aspen Music Festival for film scoring. this is awesome. They only invite 6 students. Unfortunately he did not receive a scholarship so we need to do some creative banking to make it happen. Fear not it will happen.

Due to the impeding film scoring extravaganza Michael is thinking of switching to Mac (woo hoo) also highly expensive but so much fun...more new geeky stuff)

Final momism for the day. (you may not realize but most words that come out of my mouth are really my mothers and that is what prompted these titles so...) "the more you do the more you wanna do" I am living testimony to this as I am doing nothing but sitting my futon and contemplating drinking away my C+. But really it is true. tonight we are having nora and quinn for BBQ beef sandwiches and then off to the Blue Wisp to see the Big Band.

BBQ sandwich recipe
chuck roast-trim off the disgusting edges
toss in crockpot on low
add
can tomato soup
water
BBQ sauce from bottle
some ground black pepper
optional
add onions, garlic, other seasonings

cook on low for 6-8 hours. break apart beef with fork. serve on soft potato buns.
and finally if you are nancy, fix yourself some veggie burrito from last night because...I don't eat this stuff.

on a rant (and other appropriated momisms)

so I am a complete freak and my hands shaking because my unofficial grade reports have a C+ listed for my autism class. (is blogging about school taboo, like blogging about work? I don't really care I am going to do it anyway) This class was a serious waste of my time. One of those experiences where I felt like I had the book knowledge before I entered and I wish these doctorates of education and their twittering teaching assistants would try to find some actual real life knowledge to impart. Well, there were several guest speakers some useful (real life classroom techniques) some painful (alternative therapies-now don't get me wrong I love homeopathy but again do I need a 45 slide powerpoint? or can I just read about them online? especially when it is acknowledged that you are not a medical professional and you don't want to pass on your opinions then you do through anecdotal stories of your adult autistic son...how cute almost right up there with another prof. who has been known to show a video from the cancelled [thank god] tv show "it's a miracle" prefaced by the statement that if this doesn't make you cry then you should be going into special ed. look buddy it doesn't make me cry and that is exactly why I should be going into special ed. to kick the ass of all you pansies who spend the day oohing ahhing and having a pity party with the CP kids. I'm here to kick some ass get it.[yikes long parenthetical rant])
so needless to say I am throat chokingly angry at the audacity of this prof. who did not give us any grades this quarter or provide us with any feedback. this is a college of education, doesn't that seem like the exact opposite of what they should be "modeling" (in teacher speak)

books

did I tell you I have putting up the books I am reading on xanga? well now that I am in spring break for real I am plowing through the novels.
check out this site for the details with amazon links

http://www.xanga.com/nfancie

also please leave me any suggestions
I will be off to the library tomorrow.

also let me know if you want any I will stick them in the mail when I am through or walk them over if you are in cincinnati.

hi mom!

so I just got an email from my mom
asking me what blogs were because they had been all over the news and she felt like it was getting to be ubiquitous and she felt out of the loop for not knowing.
I must be in a weird mood.
I told her what they were and told her I would send her some links to ones she might find amusing. Then with little thought I sent her a link to mine.
so
Hello MOM!
everyone say hey to my mom-everyone being my ~5 friends who check this out occasionally.
enjoy.

jolly rancher

my brain is much too fried to write anything real

here are some things:
-my car smells like a watermelon jolly rancher (if you would like your car to smell similarly send me an email and your address and I will send you a leaf that smells uncannily like a jolly rancher)
-michael and I cleaned out junk from the whole apartment (it is bad when he promotes my weekend procrastination) 4 bags of clothes and house stuff out to the goodwill
-still have one more final to write (I hope I can pull it off tomorrow afterwork and make it worth handing in so that I don't have to take and incomplete and feel guilt the entire time I am in Michigan)
-I am going to Michigan for spring break (who the hell goes to Michigan for springbreak? apparently I do...wine tastings, massages, and a cheesy looking B&B[yay a floral motif])
-I wish I had friends near here to go over to their houses and sit on their couches and moan when I am feeling as Bleh as I have been feeling all week.
-you know you are pathetic when an 85% on a paper that you spent no time writing is enough to bum out your whole afternoon-how pathetic (when did I switch from the blase student I was to the anal retentive freak I am? I missed that switch I bet that it happened about the same time as the purchase of the itchy wool waist pants...ugh)
-I ditched the sad looking cilantro, but the other herbs are doing well, and tasting lovely in my dinners. (Michael bought me a new cilantro that is just as sad as my old one or maybe worse...its the though that counts and all that....maybe I will chop up the entire thing while it is still green and use it before I kill it ...not that it has much further to go.

broken

stupid thing is broken and people can't leave comments
don't know why
but if you love me remember that I am entering finals week and send me some love.
-nancy

finals

tonight when I got home from class I ran the tub and grabbed one of the books amy sent me so that I could relax for a couple minutes in the bath. I didn't want anything too brainy so I thought a novel would do me some good for a couple minutes. amy, apparently the post it note you affixed to the jodi picoult book ...not the sister one the one about the murder suicide... well even the post it note clearly marked this book sucks! could not dissuade me. I must be leaking brain cells from my ears because I also saw a blue tag on the book that proclaimed this book will soon be a Lifetime movie. and still I thought it might be just what I needed to come down after a 2 1/2 hour class on early language development. I read about 3-4 pages in before it got so bad I had to stop. Then I flipped to the last page to see how it ended. then I flipped around in the middle to see if I could find a point of reason somewhere in the plot. The only thing I could find was a brief mention of the girl's depression and how the boy knew she was a cutter, after she came to him, after he knocked up the blond cantaloupe breasted cheerleader... ugh. I feel dumber having spent 5 minutes of my life with that book in my hand. I can't give it to anyone now and I feel bad even bringing it to the goodwill. I think it might have to just go right in the trash. If I don't set fire to it on the stove. Well, It was a good incentive to get back to writing papers.

p.s. the other jodi picoult book was not nearly this offensive. even though the 13 year old thought in a very metaphoric manner that did not ring true to me for someone 13. also killing her off was such a 13 year old way to get an ending out. it is something we would have done in the books we started to write at 12. the ones about the kids at the beach. we could have written summerland or the OC but with tweens. but what do I know. I'm sped.

the only good thing...

about my weekend thus far is that I bought (rather Michael bought for me) 5 herbs that are growing in pots. I now am the proud owner of a sage, a parsley, a chive, a oregano, and a very sad looking cilantro. I am highly disappointed in the sad state of the cilantro as it is my new favorite herb. (this can be atested to by the folks who watched me lick the bowl of Nora's yummy guacomole last night just so I could savor some more cilantroey goodness. Also how cool are friends that make guacomole,salad with apples, strawberries, onions, and a balsamic-ricotta dressing, paella, and bananas foster on a friday night. Nora and Quinn rock my world.
Matthew just remains a puzzle. Anyone that after a couple glasses of wine spontaneously jumps up and says "lets do charades" and proceeds to get the members of the household to get the charade "The 2nd law of thermodynamics" in less than 3 minutes, is probably not from this planet. What remains is the concept that he hates mimes (or professes to) as much as the rest of us, and yet later in the evening he roused us again figure out the charade "Planet of the Apes 5: Battle for the Planet of the Apes". I can't even begin to think about how his brain works...only that I am glad there is someone like him in the world (even though one is enough)

wish me luck on my herbs. I really don't have any sunlight here and I give little hope to the cilantro.

also who the hell plays charades anymore. I felt like a dickens character.

crazy people who steal from me

so someone in my building (of only 5 apartments)keeps stealing my laundry detergent. Like I said it is a small building and there is a coin-op washer and dryer in the basement that everyone uses. There is a counter set up with everyone's detergent and dryer sheets marked with apartment numbers in sharpie pen (because we can't be expected to remember which brand we bought)
The first time it happened we had just come back from the store and had not yet labeled the bottle. good people that we are we saw the error of our ways and the next bottle we bought I labeled (A LOT) I put our number all over the bottle and the lid and I even wrote a little note from the detergent asking people not to use it because this particular detergent thought me and michael were pretty nice folks that didn't deserve to be screwed around with. Now I ask you. What kind of a sick person takes laundry detergent that talks?
I feel like I have been transported back to my days with passive aggressive psycho Julie. Dude, neighbors...if you need to borrow some detergent just ask its no big deal...but don't steal our stuff. We are very busy students on very low funds. We don't have the dollars to go buying bottles of detergent every week. Not even the really cheap store brand bottles. also how sad is it that you steal the cheap store brand bottles that we buy and not the other neighbors fancy Tide and Whisk.
As we speak Michael is going door to door to implore our neighbors not to take our stuff or maybe to scare them silly so they do not steal stuff again. now he is back and has had no luck but the people in number three were home but did not come to the door. hmmm. number three the only apartment that we don't know the people...
Any suggestions will be helpful and welcome. Right now we will have to wait to buy some more before we can do laundry, then we will have to keep the detergent in the apartment and carry it up and down 4 flights of stairs everytime we put it a new load. well I will try to be a glass half full girl and say...I guess it will build up my arms grr.

these things are so stupid

but kate needs mail...so if you feel the motivation copy it and send your back to her....hey copy me too because I need to procrastinate
1. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? From Neurons to Neighborhoods-a government report on early childhood development
2. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 12:55am
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have one yay for the laptop
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? not much of a boardgame girl, but I did play Parcheesi last night with Quinn
5. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?all of em...addicted to the glossy goodness of fashion mags, but enjoy prevention and the mom magazines on the coffee table at home just as much
6. BABIES? um...sean francis?
7. FAVOURITE SOUND? guiro-wooden rhythm instrument yay!
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? anxiety
9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? I'm hungry
10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? as many as it takes to find where I left it usually my coat pocket
11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: because I banned michael from naming future kids michael probably michaela
12. FAVOURITE COLOUR? blue
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? love
14. FAVOURITE FOOD? bread
15. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? indeed, but have slowed down considerably after my court summons and with my dwindling student bank account
17. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? michael
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? cool, if I'm indoors
19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1986 chevy nova
20. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? not sure...
21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? red wine-a shiraz perhaps (love the little penguin) or a chianti
22. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?two camping chairs and a blanket
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? singer, or artist can I do both? -also I guess I should want to be a teacher since I am paying all of this money to go to school for that
25. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Quinn, cause he told me he wanted to read mine but said he wouldn't send one back
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? still am
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half-empty
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? mostly, but not the numbers
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? summer clothes and lost socks
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 8
32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Basketball
33. SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO
SENT THIS TO YOU? Katie's an angel...(sometimes) but really she is so cool and has the coolest job and is a tough girl that I love very very very much
34. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? I second the beach thought
35. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? fuzzy soft blue socks
that make me slide around the hardwood in the apartment
36. BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? Beach
37. TECHNOLOGY OR ART? art
38. COMEDY OR HORROR? Comedy....sometimes
39. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? shoulders I guess
40. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? when classes are over
41. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I don't buy CD's I wait for cool people to burn me mixes
43. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? butt (never knew the value of a good butt massage til physical therapy for the hips)
44. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? depends on your occupation
45.WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? in 8 minute increments from 6:45 to 7:45 on weekdays.
46. What's YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? my new whisk....or maybe my speedy wine opener or my fatty wooden spoon and definitely the dishwasher...I like the kitchen
47. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? practically everything but mostly ignorance and arrogance
48. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR 4x4? Sports car--but I'd rather have a new civic hybrid, b/c (my name is rain and this is my dress made of wheat)
49. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? on occasion
50. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Summer
51. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? freezing people or time or something like that or the iceman thing where he makes those little ice highways to slide around on
52. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?nope
53. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Not even a little bit.
54. WHAT\'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? some imaginary good day that is perpetually about 5 years away
55. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? sushi apparently its what evil tastes like yum wasabi
56. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO\'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? michael
57. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Katie. She rules
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? the tom & jerry where they run the water in the sink and open the refrigerator and turn the kitchen into a skating rink and use the jello mold as a light gel
59. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? sushi, or chinese, or cool stuff that I cook....yum. food.
60. IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? I think I would like to go sailing in the Mediterranean
61. DO YOU HAVE PETS? not yet.

welcome

everyone give a shout out to Dave. (everyone being the three other people that read this)
not sure it is a good idea to tell my family about my blog but you know I was never good at keeping my mouth shut.
anyway, how cool is it to read your name on the INTERNET?!! huh?

tonight was insane marxist theories. that class is so convoluted I have no idea how my final will turn out. luckily the prof does not believe in the normal curves and gives good grades for showing up and showing that you have a brain and can use it to read and form your own opinions.

part 1: My personal soundtrack* (why my personal soundtrack sucks)**

"say goodbye to hollywood, say goodbye my baby...say goodbye to hollywood, say goodbye my baby"

how much does it suck to have obscure billy joel in my head at work.
I totally wish I could change stations. the worst thing about my personal soundtrack is that it has no reference. I can't remember the last time I actually listened to any billy joel, so how I have no idea how it attaches itself to my brain in the middle of the work day.

I guess I should be thankful that today it is not showtunes (like yesterday...."everthins up to date in Kansas city")

*if you are new to the concept of my personal soundtrack it is the music that is in my head almost 24/7. I can turn it off if suitably occupied, in class, at a movie, other great music can help. but it is like my brain needs more activity than I can provide during work, so if I do not have music it will provide some. I think this explains my fascination with movie soundtracks. can you imagine the excitement if my life was accompanied aloud by my personal soundtrack? unfortunately most times it is not accurate to the mood of real life.

** this is probably part one of a series...just in case the soundtrack ever gets cool, you too can be in on the action. dance party baby.

slacker....but I can cook

so tonight I did no homework none, not even a little, haven't even opened a book
but I did make veggie burritos. half way through I realized that we didn't have salsa and the salsa container in the fridge was one michael was re-using to hold hot sauce. but I solved that ...so here is what I did.
I kept in separate containers so that when alyssa came she could pick and choose what she like and how much
first
sauteed a sliced green pepper and red pepper, a finely chopped clove of garlic, and an onion in some olive oil. also added a finely chopped jalapeno. I was not feeling too spicy tonight so I took out the seeds. added some fresh cilantro and some oregano...yum. cook but make sure veggies stay slightly crispy.
then
quick cook rice add chopped cilantro and mix
then
mash two + avocados with lime juice some chopped jalapeno and salt...yummy
then
empty a can of black beans into a pan with their liquor (I read that in a cook book, doesn't it sound better than bean goop) season with cilantro, cumin, cayenne, chilis until it smells and tastes yummy.
finally
the salsa I forgot slammed together quickly. I already used all the peppers in the saute oops so. this is....1 large chopped tomato, 1/2 chopped onion, more chopped cilantro (its in everything yay!) another jalapeno, again leave in seeds if you want it spicy. I squeezed in some lime juice and added a little ketchup. the ketchup is good because it makes the less than ripe tomatoes better, it also adds just the right amount of sugar and vinegar to make the salsa taste good fast without having to sit around and meld together the flavors of everything.
grate some cheddar or jack cheese, and put out some sour cream and things are ready to go.
all you have to do is nuke some burrito wrappers then you can just move down the line and create your own veggie burrito to taste....
this is fast and you can make a ton and have leftovers.
the only thing that takes a little while is the chopping and it goes a lot faster if you don't have to make salsa.
the other thing I forgot was lettuce...but I didn't have a replacement for that.

not that I think I am special....

but I keep having these minor breakdowns trying to get 4 classes worth of work done over the weekend. I feel like the people I am hanging out with (stupid CCM) just have time to do what they like and I start to feel bitter about having a day job. Then what I realized this weekend was the only thing I ever really get done is that which is immediately due monday night. sad that it took me 7 weeks into a 10 week quarter to figure out that gem. the rough part is not having any time to do anything fun. (or even do any laundry --now that is sad) I keep making plans and thinking I will have fun on the weekend and then the enormity of the work I need to accomplish smacks me in the head and I start to cancel plans and pout about how overwhelming it all is. This leads to forced inactivity. Where not only do I have more to accomplish in two days than is humanly possible but I also am sitting on the futon with a book open on my lap thinking about day time tv and wishing I had better cable.
my new wisdom is existentialism...which I can never seriously embrace as I am obsessed with time and with my grades. so instead I will just try to finish my papers the day before they are due and have the usual meltdown during the week before finals week. do you remember going to school when you used to get a couple days off before finals for studying...yeah that doesn't exist anymore. and for grad school all of my final projects are due the week before finals. ( I think the profs are lazy and don't want to grade these long ass projects over one weekend when grades are due in on monday)
so along with a meltdown last weekend I went to a piano recital, went hiking and to the cool ben folds concert. I also did all my reading for monday and my presentation. not too bad. now I just have to get on it for the stuff due wednesday....

jealous?

I went to see Ben Folds last night.
The show was really good.

ouch

can somebody advise me how to deal with wedding stuff
without hurting anyone's feelings or bothering anyone?

I really want to skip the whole thing and elope but I think that will piss off more people (including michael) than holding an actual event.

I hate the whole idea of the actual event especially the ungodly sums of money that I will either owe a credit card company or get from the parents.

ack.
I don't even want to think about it.
bleh