it struck fear into my soul

I was googling a topic for a friend, something along the lines of "How do you tell a guy you are just not interested? but still be nice and not crush his gentle soul." Because as you know we are girls and we were raised and socially adjusted or perhaps genetically wired to always be "nice". * Seeing as how it is a digital world and really, I don't know anything I haven't learned from google, or wikepedia (via Quinn), I offered her my internet searching skills. Surely someone has had an experience with that type of puppy dog boy or girl. The kind that is not taking your oh so subtle hints. They call you every night of the week and you never initiate and call them. You tell them you are too tired, busy, or generally overextended to do anything. It just does not seem to be sinking in. Jeez, you think, do I need to bang you over the head with it? Even my friends don't call me this much. So you google it.
first I google this
tell him you are not interested
because I am way to lazy to use boolean search tools the first time around. Especially when sometimes the I'm feeling Lucky button is all you need on a friday afternoon. The first site I click on in order to see what that came up with and how I really need to refine my search is this one

I really did not read very far when my suspicions were aroused that this was not the stand up and tell the man what you really think type site I was in search of. Seriously, I am surprised I did not throw up all over my lovely laptop.

I promise I will use the boolean search methods...just anything to avoid this tripe. A site devoted to returning to relationships where "the man wears the pants"
ew.
what is that supposed to mean?
sorry, but I was not raised to remain pretty and vapid.

one day all my friends will have blogs

and then instead of calling them to catch up on everything in their lives, I will call them to hash out specific details, and to find out all the things that go on that they are too shy to write about.

Here is the newest: Deborah

guilty pleasures ...or maybe not so much

I have the most basic of basic cable. I have tier one or just the lowest amount of channels you can get with the internet access package. I have it for the cable modem which I love. I really, really love the wireless internet that lets me watch tv while I am on the internet. I have a love hate relationship with the excessive amount of television I have been watching. I have been watching lots of E!. It is disgusting and pathetic but given my lack of real cable the only thing I can watch to avoid the local news other than the PAX network, which comes in with static anyway. E! programming seems to be on the same 24 hour cycle all the time. They film one days worth of shows for the month and shuffle them up and play them in a different order each day. The show I have been catching after work is Dr. 90210. (I know I should be ashamed it is so repulsive) But I cannot watch surgery shows when michael is home he gets too grossed out so this is what I watch when he is gone. If I had real cable I would be watching TLC where they show real surgeries and lots of home decorating shows and foodtv etc. But I have been watching Dr. 90210, so here is where I have a problem.
In plastic surgeries involving breasts or boobs or whatever slang you prefer they put a fuzzy mark over the nipple. But, get this...in a female to male transsexual breast surgery, they put the fuzzy thing over the nipple when it is still a "female" nipple and then they don't have the fuzzy thing over the nipple when it is a "male" nipple. What is up with that? The feminist part of me is totally pissed and also confused. What is the inherent sexually explicit difference between a transsexual's or anyone's for that matter male vs. female nipple? I really have to stop thinking about this. But not before being disgusted by the doctor who continually tells the boob ladies how much prettier they are as Full C/D cups and the women getting the implants who continually emphasize how these new breasts are really going to make them feel so much more confident and will help them finally get over what that mean boy said in 7th grade when he called them no tits or something. Yes, of course boobs and self esteem are synonymous in my dictionary. How about yours?
other horrible disgusting embarrassing things I did today:
Today at work the internet was out during lunch, when I would normally read blogs for the 1/2 hour that I eat my lunch. I realized that, while eating my lunch at my desk is sad with the internet without the internet (or a book) it is downright pathetic without these things. So, I heated up my lunch and went into the cafeteria. I never go into the cafeteria, so I don't know what goes on there, first I saw that there was no one I really knew to eat with and the people I sort of knew were at full tables. Okay, I don't have my book, but there are two book cases stuffed with books people bring in to share (isn't that nice)....no. It was nice in the 1980's which is the last time that someone brought in a book to share. So my choices are all romance/spy paperbacks from the 80's and there are magazines from several years ago and one copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting. While me and my love of gross out medical things would probably love to read the what to expect book, I can't stand the implications if I was caught reading said book by anyone at work. 10 years in office work has taught me that if you are of childbearing age people will think you are pregnant for innocuous statements about having an upset tummy. I am probably equally embarrassed by all of the romance novels and even slightly sickened by them. And so...my choice...my 6th grade favorite Flowers in the Attic. Now I know this is bad and pathetic but it is also so reminiscent of a time when I loved reading and could fall right into books, something I have been struggling with all summer. This book is so pathetic and horrible and yet I remember loving it so much and also watching the bits and pieces of the movie as it played on HBO again and again. While I was reading it I wanted to start writing down ridiculous passages to share with you here. But I really can't do that to you. To further matters I had only read a small portion of this travesty of pre-teen tripe when several of the guys I work with came in with their lunches and joined me. "Oh, so you're reading Nance. What are you reading?" I smashed the book into my lap and just said it was some junk I found on the shelf. I don't think they really cared anyway and I had finished eating so I could exit with haste to return to my desk where the internet was once again working. whew!

michael

Deborah, This is for you. Here is what Michael looks like now with his short hair. and feelin' pretty happy cause his friends came and surprised him for the recital...so a few drinks later...This picture was taken 15 days before Sophia.

the walmart of wedding dress stores

I spent Saturday with Caitlin sorting through a jungle of white fluff encapsulated in crunchy bags. We would wade through the aisles pulling on bags in the $99 Sample Sale at the fancy bridal salon, and then later at David's Bridal the Walmart of bridal salons. Wedding dresses are poofy. "Oh is that the style?" my mother asks, hell if I know. The only style I have observed is that of the poof, the strapless, and the tiara.
I have to thank Caitlin for spending the entire day sorting through the white, the tulle, the rockcandy beady dresses, interrupted only by some (mediocre at best) Mexican and a horrible terrible mumbly complainy waiter.
So if for some reason you are reading this and you don't know me here is the background. I am 5'9" tall. I am fairly thin. All wedding consultants work on commission. They say things like, "Oh my god, you look gorgeous in that" "That looks perfect on you" and "That dress is new and I have been dying to see someone try it on, it is gorgeous/perfect/blaka-blook-a-dee" (thanks Caitlin)
Meanwhile (as Caitlin has dubbed them) a bevy of "Suzy average bride" accompanied by mom look on as they try on VERY WHITE, bedazzled and trained dresses that are so heavy I am sure you need to climb into them. They stand on the raised carpet covered circlets in front of mirrors as bridal consultants swarm around them and bring crowns and tiaras and tulle to finish off the cake.
I thought I wanted a simple dress but I don't think they actually exist. And the ones I have tried on are shiny and make me feel like "Hi, I'm Calpurnia you know Julius Caesar's wife. Hold on I'll be right with you, let me just grab my olive leaf headpiece and strappy sandals."
I am so not a wedding person, though I do look forward to the wedding as much as I do any good party. I also don't expect anything I do, plan or choose to be entirely groundbreaking. I don't care about being one of a kind, I mean it is a wedding, I will be wearing a whitish dress, there will be my dad and some type of aisle, our friends and family eating catering chicken and drinking from the open bar. I mean it can't be that bad, but I am certainly not planning on hanging a 18"x24" glossy with fuzzy photoshopping (to make it dreamsicle) anywhere in my future apartments. So I don't really care to try to make the white dress prepackaged event into the celebrity wedding of the year. When I think back on how much I recall from the 8 weddings I've attended in the last 7 years, I really think that I don't remember much past the dancing and the appetizers, so I know what to make stand out. cheesy poofs and cool music of course.
Finally, I was talking to Michael on the phone today and reviewing my rant on dresses etc. He actually asked me how I am going to wear my hair. I told him I am growing it out because according to the bride magazines and websites you are not allowed to have short hair when you get married. Then I asked him how he would be wearing his hair. I mean for real. I think maybe I will break down and get it cut at a salon. woohoo. give up my art girl haircut that has arisen only through my impoverished student life that requires a bottle of wine over a haircut any day. for my wedding. sure

I don't like living in Ohio because of the language barrier

People here say pop instead of soda,
and on the news today I heard a hit and run described as,
a hit and skip
now that's just wrong.

the worst is the word "Please?"
not used in a pleasant exchange, Please and thank you and your are so welcome but instead as a local "Huh?" with the expectation that people from other parts of the country are supposed to understand that this means "Excuse me?" or "Pardon me?" or "Could you please repeat that?"

....all I really want is a wooderice.

Here are some other language links:
http://www.slanguage.com/cincinnati.html
and here you can listen to language samples of people from Ohio.

I miss michael

Even though this is what our weekends look like when he is here. Sad right? But look I learned how to use the timer on my cool camera. yay me.

do you know when...

people at work come up beside you and try to instruct you to open a certain folder or click on a specific link. Is it just me or does the mere presence of another person suddenly make me completely blind. It is like I stop reading and can't find anything. I don't know if it has to do with how I operate on computers, that I am visual and in motion and I have trouble converting language into the pictures I see and my usually automatic movements. Or maybe it is just my jobs which are so mindless that I lose brain cells each day I go to work. There is another possibility that this is not just me, and there is some unspoken phenomenon that makes a computer screen look like a camera lens covered in vaseline, as soon as a coworker steps by your desk and says "Can you open this..." or "Have you seen..." I am immediately braindead.

two thoughts

Because I know I have not been posting often enough (for some) here are two evening (or early morning for some) thoughts.

while work is normally freezing cold, so much so that I bring ugly sweatshirts, sweaters or jackets and generally wear them for the entire afternoon, yesterday was insanely hot. So hot that I wanted a popsicle more than I have this entire summer.(the air conditioning was completely broken) So hot my forearms would stick to the desk as I typed reminding me of my lack of ergonomic grace. (but broken only in my part of the building) So hot I was dreaming of shorts (which I almost never wear) and wishing I had worn flip flops (talk about a fashion faux pas) to work .

Why do people in Cincinnati, grow up, go to school here and subsequently buy houses in the same neighborhood they grew up in? Is there some sort of innate draw these neighborhoods? Is this a nation/worldwide phenomena that I have somehow avoided thus far? Have I avoided it because of the neighborhood I grew up in, or is it really just that I am not an engineer, doctor, or pharmacist (the people I usually work with) and I have not yet gained the finances to buy a house anywhere near where my parents live? Is that really the goal? I know young people laugh about it here, but they do it, and seem vaguely proud and embarrassed. Strange.

happy for everyone

Happy Birthday to Caitlin! 22 years
and to new Anna Elizabeth 7lbs10oz
Congratulations to Jamie & Colleen and new Aunts Amy and Maureen. YAY!


Spent 4th of July weekend with Nora's family at their lake house in Kentucky. It was a wonderful time with lots of relaxing and tons of great food. The lake was lovely, but I am still an ocean girl at heart. In the ocean (at least in New Jersey) you must always be on guard because another wave is coming and will hurtle you into the sand if you don't jump around, or in, or over. Lakes are still and quiet and full of boats and fish and turtles.
I am starting to really look into wedding stuff (ick!) so if anyone is really into this and can pass on any suggestions I would love to hear. I am the anti bride it seems because the details seem beyond me. The only way I can get motivated is if I think of it as putting on a big play.
I think I played bride when I was a little girl for maybe a weekend. This can be explained away by the props, I did have that 1st communion veil on hand. I think I spent more time playing 1st communion with Cheez-its for hosts. "body of christ" --place cheez it in hand (or on tongue (ew) "amen". Mom put an end to that one when she stopped laughing I am sure and decided to bring some spirituality back in to the event of transfiguration. Truly I never knew much about that. We were CCD kids and we practiced on Sunday's or Tuesday evenings with unblessed host, necco wafers or inexplicably, tootsie rolls. It is difficult to put on a big production with hundreds of 2nd graders. So I guess a wedding will be easier, non-catholic so I need to get a book or find some vows and poems and things to make it like an event, without the church part. hmmm.

too much free time apparently

illustration friday

if I move to New York next year, this is what I will be eating instead of hoagies.

angry kind of day

I am tired of everything today including:

• the post office clerk that look past me and speed speaks my shipping options. Like I have any idea what the difference is between parcel post and mumbledy mumble post. Waiting for my receipt to print he sighs like it is too much to be sitting by himself in an air conditioned post office on a 92 degree afternoon. His fat ass needs to get a walking route, Newman.
• the clerk in the next store I go to whose response to "do you carry phone cards?" is "What kind of phone card" me "I don't know what kind of phone card is there?" (the kind you use to make a call? maybe) him "over there." he gestures, they are on the display less than 3 feet behind me and yes there are wireless and regular cards but ALL of the phone cards are on the same display...Why not just tell me where the phone cards are?
• listening to my coworkers health problems like I care. I don't (at least I don't care to hear it before I log in and check my email in the morning) please call a physician, what? Your chiropractor told you it might be deadly mold in the work place?, still call a general practitioner. Tell him or her your symptoms, see what they can do for you. Or go home that's fine too.

I know all the bad stuff about blogging about coworkers blah blah blah, but this job is not exactly a resume builder, more a vehicle to keep me in food and shelter until I can finish the degree. 5 more weeks of work. 4 more weeks til Michael returns.

• I really hate that blogger spell check does not know or recognize blog blogger or blogging. All of its own stupid made up words anyway.
• I don't know what is up with the links I think I have Seinfeld on the Brain, I don't even know if anyone will get some of them but I just can't get the Kramer moviefone voice out of my head "Why don't you just tell me....
  

not getting it done

Whatever it is, is not happening. I am somehow only working 5 hours a day and yet not doing much of anything when I get home. I play on the internet, sort of glance at my piles of library books and cook some but all of the visions of my summer are disappearing. In the air conditioning of apartment I am doing more napping than organizing and more lounging than creative projects. I need to figure out how to get some motivation or how to schedule myself silly like I do during the school year, because all this free time is just not doing it for me. Lists! That's what I need lists. Tomorrow I will start with a list and if it is anything like the ones I do during school, I will promptly lose it and complete only about half the items in the time I expect. But half is still more than none.

too late

I was too late with my black and white drawing to put my link on illustration friday. too bad, I will try again this week. Maybe this week I will pull things together and have a better sense of what day of the week it is and what I need to accomplish. Wow, that last sentence makes it sound like I have a life, when really by accomplish I mean things like make the bed, unload the dishwasher, eat breakfast before leaving on time to go to my part time job. That is pretty pathetic.
Last night I went to Habenero's with Caitlin and Nora, even though my kitchen is bursting with fresh produce. I bought too much fresh food for just me and now it is just mocking me from the kitchen as it gets more and more ripe. I think maybe I will be able to eat it all but I really need to stop going out and start cooking. I think maybe fresh fruit and yogurt and granola for breakfast. That of course means I am not having cereal and not using milk which will of course go bad. Why don't they sell thing in smaller sizes. Wait that's not true they did have a smaller milk but it wasn't the super skim fortified with A and B vitamins that says Tastes's like 2% on the side. I often wonder if I am really eating healthy or just attracted by words like organic twice and much money, buy me I am fortified (whatever that means). Now I am going to go eat, or clip my stupid fingernails because they are too long and they are clicking annoyingly on the keyboard making my typing all wonky.
oh and check out my xanga I will be adding the books and movies of the summer soon.

no shades of gray

for illustration friday

not that it really matters but...

3 A's, one P, and a B in my class with the professor I would like to never see again. Unfortunately, I have to take another class with him this fall.

the boring vacation recap:
(I'm still of the mindset that if I was not lounging on the beach for several days it can't really be called a vacation)
I spent last week at my parents house not really sleeping in, but definitely doing lots of nothing, watching Discovery Health and TLC and the other high up cable channels I don't get in Cincinnati. I got to see Jaime and a little bit of Beth. Jaime made me the so many cool CD's and that made the drive back yesterday so much cooler. I had time to play with my adorable, pudgy nephew who will be one next month. He is so good and so funny. He is crawling now and is such a people person that if you leave the room he will follow you. I spent a day with my Dad at the Brandywine River Museum and we did a wine tasting at the Chaddsford Winery. I had a wonderful dinner with Angelique's family. It was a relaxing vacation, but the nine hour drive back hasn't knocked me out. Now I need to pull myself back together so I can get things done this summer. The first thing is to unpack my suitcase that is filled with clean clothes. Sad isn't it...the level of my laziness. Well if nothing else I have plenty of time.
I hope, in time, my motivation and writing skills will recover to at least a mediocre level.

finals done, countdown to roadtrip

I haven't been posting because finals week, and the week before, really make me feel like my head is going to explode. Then I write a lot of papers and I realize they don't all need to be fully comprehensive in all areas, as that would be impossible. Then I think I did them all completely wrong. Then I check my grades online compulsively for the next two weeks.
Its exciting to be me.
After work today, I am walking to campus to turn in my last exam (a take home test...is that good or bad, is he expecting my essays to be fully completed with thesis statements? oops.)
Tonight I am preparing to go to Pennsylvania for a week.
Goodbye wireless internet, I will miss you, but really me and the internet need a little separation time so I can get back to reading real books.

this weekend

has been:
sad ridiculousness over stupid ass professors and big projects
greasy chinese food and beers in the sound booth with lots of composers and a pianist
sheherizade and cello choir followed by more beers or wine on quinn's porch with silly shloppy undergrads
inn the wood for the last potato crisp
art store sidewalk sales to peruse
lots of stress over stupid school work followed by inexplicable calmness (as the work has yet to be completed)
mari's birthday with fun acquaintances and very cute yellow lab and tasty summer salads
julianna's party with ellis' dixie land band
now some sleep and tomorrow more school work
three projects left and only one more horrific class and all will be well.

monster (for illustration friday)

Why I don't really go to the movies these days

So the deal is, we have lots of free movie tickets to the local multicineplex. I am disappointed in movies these days and never want to go. This weekend I promised Michael I would go but kept putting it off. Finally we decide to go with friends to see Start Wars. When we got to the theater we could not get in with our free passes because there is some rule about not using the free passes until movies like Sith that are supposed to be huge blockbuster must make real money or something I don't know. It took us almost a ten minute conversation of not wanting to see the only other two movies at the 18 plex. (Really each movie is playing on multiple screens so there are only about 2 movies playing you can go every 15 minutes.) Before someone suggested we just use the free passes to get tickets to another movie and go see Sith anyway. Really it is 11:30pm on a Sunday, there is no one at the theater anyway, who cares? Smarty pants.
So here is my take on the movie in a condensed manner. I have read so many reviews of this movie that I will only say the super girly things:
-What kind of shoes do jedi's wear and who gets to pick those out?
-Padme, the costume designer's dream come true after suffering through all those jedi robes and shoes....oooohhh, girly hair and and new dressy accessories each scene.
what is up with going to bed in the pearl sleeve dress with the full eyemakeup and lip gloss? Who does that?
giving birth to HUGE twins that look about 3 months old, when you look about 5 months pregnant.
also there was lots of war and saber fights and people flying places and some sort of political commentary blah blah blah.
I can't wait to use up these free passes, so I can feel better about walking down to the local theater and paying to see an independent film that I really want to see.

aquatic

aquatic, originally uploaded by nfancie.

for illustration friday

easy veggie and cheese sandwiches

12 grain bread (or any other yummy whole wheat etc. you like of the presliced variety)
thin sliced sharp cheddar cheese (the orange kind for me)
thin sliced gruyere cheese
sliced tomato
thin sliced mushrooms
baby spinach (this is something I keep in the fridge that I buy in those tubs of organic lettuces in the store)

layer sandwich with cheese and veggies, season if you so desire
heat a little dab of olive oil in a pan on medium heat
grill sandwiches in the pan panini style (squish em with your spatula or nora & quinn and deborah and keith use your fancy sandwich makers)
this is just like making a regular grilled cheese just watch the sandwich closely because you want it to get nice and golden brown but not burnt and you want the cheese to melt, so don't keep the heat too high or you will end up with burnt bread and cold cheese
eat when cheese is melty, you can melt the cheese faster by covering the sandwich with a pot lid if you don't have the fancy sandwich maker

I also made these with some whole wheat pita I just sliced in half and stuffed with the ingredients.

If you make this give me a comment to let me know how it went and if you made any changes.

summer resolutions

So, while I enjoy this new creative wave and quietly wait to be able to act on it until after the quarter ends and my papers and projects are complete, I am feeling needless stress about school work and the state of the world. Today I combated it with company, first in class and then Alyssa came by for yummy sandwiches (recipe to follow) and she brought brownies.

I am thinking of some summer resolutions and that may be strange, but I think I normally make some mental resolutions everything I see change in my life. Sometimes I have them at the beginning of every week when I think tomorrow, tomorrow is the day I get up early and exercise and eat breakfast before work, maybe even iron a shirt to wear...yeah that never happens. I have mixed feelings about writing down some changes I would like to make here, but there is a possibility that by writing them down they will become more real. First things first, I am too grounded and boring and all about debt reduction and we will not be getting Ipods --yet. But I am thinking of putting myself on a behavior plan of sorts (see the sp.ed. program at work) and using a mini Ipod as a reward for exercising. I bought some yoga videos on Amazon so this means I can do some exercise without even leaving the house. Also, I ran into the lovely Julianna today. She is surprisingly still interested in doing Saturday morning yoga with me. (surprisingly because last time we did yoga I was a big wimp and could barely move and then got a cramp in my tricep --I didn't even know you could get a cramp in your tricep). So while this may be too out there, other plans for the summer include the possibility of piano lessons with Michelle and voice lessons with Caitlin. hmm this seems like a lot but add to this, various painting and computer like arts and maybe even some loobylu type softies it looks to me like my summer of only working part time is pretty busy. The only thing I left off was starting my master's portfolio ugh. but I definitely need to take a break from the program cause it is making me feel crazy, at least until July.

learning new tricks

I am feeling highly creative lately and more so everytime I look at this blog
www.loobylu.com
I hope this summer I use my free time productively and start doing cool things again...art things.
I am not smart enough (or maybe I don't have the time to upload enough) but a few of my painting are still up on this site. http://homepages.uc.edu/~murphyah/
Spending time to do the three city scapes for Matthew's recital probably was the kick start to my creative wave.
Unfortunately, while I am having these creative bursts I need to actually stay grounded and finish my papers and projects. so much work so little time.
I am feeling okay about getting everything done so I hope the good vibes continue. I am also feeling super happy about a bunch of other things. including

• Angelique's visit last weekend and the random foods I bought at Jungle Jim's
  
• Discovering that Fairview Park is so much cooler, than the ghetto park I thought it was. if I am really cool I will take some pictures to post but right now I can't remember my flickr password and it won't tell me.
  
• feeling like taking pictures of things and using them in my art.
• Soon having the time to use scan my sketches and play with them digitally.
• michael forging my signature today to deposit a $10 royalty check I forgot about.
• The strong possibility of IPods in the future (maybe tonight) coming from michael's inheritance (accordions...he inherited 3 accordions so weird but apparently with high resale value and this is good as I am less likely to be subjected to accordion music.)

so if you have any IPod advice or opinions or if you would like to weigh in on which color mini I should purchase let me know.
you can also make requests for art work.
and you can still ask for a link if you would like one.

I will try to update more often so I can write an actual post that does not include bullet points.

slow poke

angelique has posted more. check it out if you are interested. I felt like I should make an announcement because she has been such a slow poke in posting more. as I have said before she is an infinitely better writer/communicator than me, in this blog form. worth a real read and not just a glance. her link is above and on my sidebar.

I know you know

but just a reminder that michael's master's recital is tomorrow afternoon. so all the family is coming into town. I have been cleaning because I am anal retentive that way. michael and I are both acting stressed and running around and feeling not ready. I know he has more of a right to these feelings than me, but essentially all the family stuff stresses me out. (Which is odd because everyone is very nice I just worry too much about pleasing people, and about other peoples comfort levels).
so this morning when michael decided that his head was about to explode. he said to me that this was his last recital with associated hoopla, because it just took too much effort. I said (projecting the expected hoopla associated with impending wedding) ...so can we elope...and he said no, very quickly, leaving little room for doubt. bummer.
a lot of my stress comes from projecting, so if I learn to be more existential that would be cool. (is that something that can be learned?) Can it be learned while expecting out of town guests, preparing a reception like thing for 20+ people, having a presentation due next week, working and doing school observations, steadily falling behind on my history reading, feeling buried under the few free weekends left and the work that needs to be completed in them. I mean I have to write a lesson plan. I don't even know what that is and yet I am expecting to graduate next june with a masters degree in special education. what I am I going to do with myself this summer when I am only working part time? I think sleep. and maybe paint, and read. and also lots of nothing.
through all my stress and blah blah blah...michael and I still get along (for the most part) and I love that I made him laugh aloud last night by being sleep deprived and glib.
"can you refill water"
me no comment but I leave the office
and immediately return
"I guess I need to take the glass, unless I was thinking of bringing the water back in my hands"
he laughs
I take the glass and walk away
him-"lap, lap, lap"

I guess you had to be there.

also
Ferris Bueller teacher quotes
"In WHAT way.....does the authors use of ...Prison...."

"something d-o-o economics, .....voo doo economics"

finally riduculous links for you.
oprah really did a show on this? or is it some sort of joke

I loved this site in 1999 but it doesn't update as often anymore. but you can enjoy it and maybe look at some archives

amy, you were impressed when I used this peson's name as an adjective, in the spirit of dead baby jokes I give you this

I do apologize for the first and last ones but I couldn't keep it to myself.

-hey is there any rule about bibliographing links and how you found them? I think school is making me all about copyright laws, plagiarism, APA and now Turabian. (do you think bibliographing is a word?)

personal soundtrack #?

currently playing: town without pity(thanks to amy's cool link)
with visions of john travolta in "Look Who's Talking" dancing around the kitchen

I either want to change tracks or sing loud and dance wildly around the office strewing paperwork as I go.

change

so I changed my look.
what do you think?

p.s. if you want to be linked I will add you just let me know.

rhymes

so I had a bad day on tuesday, and today with some validation from my classmates I am positive that my professor is crazy and I am just an assertive girl (a.k.a. a bitch) but I don't care if assertive women are bitches and assertive men are just strong. I will keep being myself and trying to maintain a level of professionalism, even with petty, pompous, old men that I would rather kick in the head.
rant over
new one now.
on my drive home today I heard this weird captivating piano song. first you must understand that I am only in my car for about 20 minutes total a day. I am lucky to work about 10 minutes away. In the morning, I listen to the local station's NPR news and in the afternoon a CD. When the CD's get old I am often too lazy to change it or not hitting enough red lights to pick a new one out (nope I didn't get the car with the 6 CD changer and maybe that was a mistake but I am over it). So I resort to random afternoon radio. I have yet to find a station in Cincinnati worth listening to and unfortunately the local station is broadcasting the PRI show Echoes* when I drive home (for me, not usually worth listening to unless you are hip to the ambient scene and then more power to you but it generally puts me to sleep or makes me want to break something out of frustrated boredom). alas, on the radio today I hear this. a song no one should ever have to hear. with lyrics that, should you choose to click the link, I suggest you read as if reading a Dr. Seuss book.
wait that is bad, Dr. Seuss books my provide better lyrics,
ones that do not try to rhyme go with Chicago...dude you just rhymed go with go. that wasn't too hard. also what is up with the rhyming. not all song lyrics have to rhyme. are you 6 years old? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! note: I like roadies and appreciate all their hardwork but lyrics like this make me think roadies would want to strangle the guy with some extra cords

Now, roll them cases out and lift them amps
Haul them trusses down and get 'em up them ramps
'Cause when it comes to moving me
You know you guys are the champs
But when that last guitar's been packed away
You know that I still want to play
So just make sure you've got it all set to go
Before you come for my piano

end rant 2

thanks to all who helped me feel less crazy. I will continue to be a direct speaking and constantly questioning student. who asks questions about the requirements for the final project. which at this date remains an enigma. (6 weeks into a 10 week quarter)

*the host of Echoes came into the store where Michael worked and bought a guitar for his son. I know you needed to know about his brush with PRI fame.

at long last

haven't posted in a while, the immensity of Angelique's writing made me kind of quiet for a while. also I wanted to make sure everyone got a chance to read her stuff.

so now I am back to my trivialities. this weekend has been nice and relaxing. I have school work to do, as usual, but nothing is due immediately so I am resting up for the next crisis of due dates. I have been so busy lately that I don't notice the things around me. so on friday I went shopping (thanks to some support from mom and dad) and got some clothes so that I can feel less like a homeless person that just wandered into my cubicle at work. Friday I had a morning clothing crisis that ended up with me wearing clothes that made me feel awkward all day. I don't know if you have ever experienced this but my shirt was too short, my skirt too big and when I looked down at my jacket I realized their was a nice food stain on the front. ack! I felt like one of the kids at school. so it was good to go out friday and get some clothes that fit, without stains or any weird shrinking yet. at the gap I tried on a jacket that I did not realize was three quarter sleeve. I hate three quarter sleeve, possibly stemming from my murphy arms and the fact that most normal sleeves leave me looking limby and awkward. makes me think of the Simpsons episode. Remember, Milhouse and the flood pants? yeah, thats me.
moving on....
saturday michael and I went to see The Interpreter
it was good because I haven't been to the movies in a while but I am picky about plausible story lines and creating a drama without just handing it over to the viewer, so there were some points that bugged me. I'll save the complaining because I hate to ruin movies for people who can turn off that analytical thinking and enjoy the story, by pointing out the parts that bothered me. who am I kidding? just highlight the next part the text is in white. I do have to say that it was mostly good until about the last 4 lines of dialogue, which were so poorly written even Sean Penn couldn't save it. He has a couple of lines like that ....so bad. Also I saw an interview on TV with Nicole Kidman talking about the writers deciding her character should play an instrument, the cello. Nicole says "oh not the cello, how about the flute" what a poor decision. totally unnecessary for the character and crushing to the plot. oh, I overheard the plot of an assassination because I needed to go upstairs to get my flutes, they are too heavy to carry boohoo. I live 2 blocks from a music conservatory, the flute a small black case you toss into a bag. not a huge hulking canvas tote filled with loose instruments parts and mishmashed sheet music. A cello, hulking instrument to carry, too big to fit in a purse, something you wouldn't want to haul up and downstairs a couple times a day (right nora?) alright enough of my cello rant.

today, pathetic but now infinitely cooler me, finally went to the big library on campus (my first time for those of you counting I have been going to school here for over a year. full time, including summer.) Prior to this I have been ordering books online and having them delivered to the library near my building, it doesn't get much lazier than that. but also, not much more truly time saving for my hectic life.

Finally Congratulations! to Deborah, Keith, and Cecilia on the birth of new baby Sophia.

Angelique's story (so far)

This is a link to Angelique's blog, where she recently wrote an amazing post detailing the death of her sister. She is a very good writer. She uses lots more punctuation then I do. She is strong and amazing and I anxiously await more posts like this one that give such a clear view into a moment of her life. I am continually impressed by her resilience. I think that her skill as a writer and her astonishing story will make a wonderful book that could help so many others that have experienced the death of a sibling. If you read her story leave some comments so she realizes this is not just me gushing (you know how you never really trust your mom when she tells you how cute you are ...this seems like that).

stuck

I have been kind of stuck on writing something new since I read Angelique's last blog. I would like to link to it, but I feel like it is important to talk to her about that first. Since I haven't been able to talk to her about that, I am stuck trying to come up with something of my own to write about. So instead of posting on one thing, here are some exciting bullet points for your perusal:

• I updated my xanga with the books I am reading now. I can't wait to have free time to read books for fun, and a not always spend free time reading blogs and feeling guilty for procrastinating, or reading books and articles that make my brain hurt.
• my personal soundtrack has been so skippy and finicky lately that I can't really post about it. Like right now I have that song from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind in my head and earlier today I was fading from destiny's child to paul simon to random bits of musical theater.
• I spent 1/2 an hour at work today waiting in the lobby to greet the board members (which means I open the door so that they are not locked out because my company decided (before I arrived) that a front desk receptionist was unnecessary. Unnecessary for everyone but board members apparently, because they are special.)
• I am told that everyone I work with loves me, because I will do anything. (no not really anything but it seems I give off an easy going vibe--yes Michael you can laugh now...) It is easy to be this person when you only work part time at a job that you know you will be leaving in 4 months. Or as Dave used to say when I was an angry preteen fighting with the parents "just say sure" this is a good life rule ...then go do whatever you were going to do to begin with.
• last night on the walk home from campus I had strong will power, and even with my full wallet, walked past Joey's del and did not buy chips and wine. Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, I was bragging to Michael about my will power when we walked past and he stopped and grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the store to make said purchase. (note to self...red wine does not taste yummy with sour cream and onion pringles)
• finally I cannot recall where I originally found the link to this but I know at least one person that reads this will enjoy sesame street memories.
  

p.s. I read this a little and added some commas for good measure, not a lot but some, do you like them?

wcpo can suck it.

I stay in to watch bad television because I am not ready for a night of music geeks with the possibility of a performance of "in C" (you would stay in too). There is nothing on my pitiful cable but I settle for channel surfing and a this old house episode. Then I click to my local ABC affiliate WCPO. They taunt me with the teaser for Extreme Makeover their youngest candidate yet. I am thrilled with the prospect of televised humiliation, operations and possible something more interesting than nose jobs like a cleft palate or something good. This is immediately squelched by a voice over that tells me Extreme Makeover will not be on until 1:35am because of special programming. The special programming is something about Billy Graham. I am seriously ashamed to have written so much about this already. first I admit I watch tv as spectacularly bad as Extreme Makeover (just when nothing better is on) then I have to talk about the conservative midwest world that I am subjected to living in and now because of my own schooling. why why why do I live in Cincinnati? The land of paid programming of a religious nature during prime time. please save me. I am trapped between performance art minimalist music and religious programming.

dying*

suddenly I am dying for some of those nasty yummy little potato crispy things they sell for breakfast at hardees or BK or something like that. mmm greasy salty potato goodness. not having any money in my wallet is a good deterrent for this type of awful craving.

*I'm not prone to exaggeration or anything.

not motivated to post chicken salad

in lieu of writing anything real here is the tasty chicken salad I made yesterday
3 chicken breasts seasoned and baked for ~ 20 minutes then chilled then chopped into bite size cubes
2 celery stalks
1/2 reg. size onion
chop very fine (just fine don't mince you still want it to be crispy
green apple -core and dice
green grapes-halve or if they are huge you can cut them smaller
handful of walnuts

mix in a large bowl with a scoop of mayo, a squirt of spicy brown mustard, a scoop of sourcream, a squeeze of lemon juice, a little salt, and some ground pepper. add just enough mayo to make it moist and not white and mushy. add just a little bit of mustard and a dab of sourcream to add some tang. my mom adds dill but I would not do that with the fruits primarily grapes cause the idea skeeves me out. Michael made this last time and added raisins. It seemed like a good idea at the time but this too is nasty, unless you are michael in which case you have warped tastebuds that cannot be trusted.

enjoy...and remember if you try a recipe, tell me how it goes so I can make any adjustments.

you know

when you are at a restaurant, out with friends or at a party...and things are going so nice, and someone keeps your glass filled a little higher than you would normally fill with cabernet sauvignon, and keeps it filled often, without that little breather or water break you think of taking. instead of water you drink beer cause mmm, beer is refreshing. all is well and you feel fine. that is until you are home sitting on your own couch, looking into your own refrigerator, pouring yourself a big glass of water, then you realize that your lips feel tingly and warm and maybe you drank more than you had thought. the nice warm buzz hits you at 1am when you were just preparing to go to bed. maybe this was there before but the new environment, and the interesting company, and your crazy talking self made the distance seem hazy between the fuzzy drinking you, and the sober eating you.
I have such a mouth that I sometimes would rather blame the alcohol for my tendency to tell silly stories or make blunt comments, but really they happen before my first sip. I am me, blunt and honest without any drink. That is why I told my professor exactly what I thought of her class, and that is why I often dwell later on the things I said, or others said, the tone of voice, the inflection and glance associated with every phrase. The wine this evening just adds a glow of warm contentment to my night with friends, but the conversation has not been altered.

really...it is so good

I feel that the post below did not adequately describe the goodness that is these noodles. you read it and you think oh, noodles, cold, mmm hmmm. but really I just ate some for lunch and it is just getting better. so tasty so fresh. not too spicy, in fact could maybe be spicier. the walnuts mmm just right. so truthfully you should make this and tell me if you agree. or if you are lazy you should come over and I will make it for you. just bring wine.

noodles

last night I made a cold noodle dish. fitting because the weather has been stunning. I only know this from the brief moments I have outside between work and class but still it feels different and it is nice to have the windows open in the apartment.
so this is the first time I made this dish it needs a lot of tweaking but I thought I would share it for feedback early on. as always it is a conglomeration of food I had in the fridge and recipes I glanced through and ideas from noodles I had at restaurants. My first reaction is that I need to make the sauce faster next time so it doesn't reduce so much. also it could be less spicy but that is a matter of opinion. I am just afraid that it will get spicer over the next couple days in the fridge.
so here goes.
ingredients
1 pkg. tempeh-cut into cubes
oil (I used combo peanut and sunflower it would be good to use sesame I think but I didnt have any)
fry the tempeh til crispy brown, season with cayenne, salt & pepper
boil a bunch of spaghetti or some other noodle. drain it.
let the oil cool a little and saute
some mushrooms and crushed chopped garlic
add, soy sauce, roasted red pepper, chopped ginger and lime juice and rice wine vinegar
mix/melt in spoonful of tahini, spoonful of peanut butter, I had the crunchy kind,
chop up
a red pepper
green onions
fresh cilantro/parsley
dump pasta and chopped veggies into the pan and mix. top with tempeh and any kind of chopped nut you have on hand I had walnuts. also I added some crushed red pepper.
this sounds more complicated than it is.
it really just requires I bunch of ingredients.
all the ingredients are kind of random as I was using up veggies from my fridge.
let me know what you think or if you have any questions or if you want me to try to make up some specific quantities to make for easier cooking. likewise if you want it set up in a traditional recipe format.
if you live in cincinnati, let me know if you want to come over and try some because I made a lot and michael is driving to florida this afternoon.

why it is good I don't have more cable

I just spent the last 10 no maybe 15 minutes watching a tv show on E! that I am too embarrassed to speak of directly. I can't write more because I must fill my life with more mindless drivel and perhaps some wine and cheesy snacks.

while watching tv I saw a commercial for something like craft corner death match on the Style Channel. that's so wrong, but can be listed with many other reasons why it is good I have very basic cable. I talk marxism but I ooze consumerism as I sit on the couch admiring my newly swiffered hardwood floors.

personal soundtrack continues

"she drives me crazy ha ha....like no one else ha ha...."
so I finally had the opportunity to meet with my prof today and argue about the ridiculousness of her giving me a C+ ahg! and I am so cool calm and collected that as the tension escalated and I was not getting through to her I realized I was going to be late for my other class, and that I was about to burst into tears and I told her as I left the office that hers was "the worst class I have ever taken and I would have learned more if I just read the book" I am so mature. so then I raced of to class, first trying to stop in the ladies room for a quick cry or at least to spash some cold water on my face and the closest restroom to my class was locked (what is up with that! who locks a public restroom what is happening are homeless people sleeping in there? I wouldn't mind if they just kept it unlocked) so instead I just go to class late (so not me) while in class trying to bite back more tears and writing the word angry over and over again on a scrap piece of paper my new prof calls on me first to tell the rest of the class about myself. When everyone finishes the intros he points out, that it is nice to have two students in the class not from a UC undergrad. The other student went to tufts and harvard (I went Bloomsburg, a small state school in pennsylvania). Then later my phone rings (oops forgot to turn it off on the rush into class) Finally, he calls on me again calling me Bloomsburg because he can't find his class list and asks me where the garden of eden was located...if I had any brains left at this point I would have told him that the point is moot as the garden of eden is a myth and if you would like me to guess on the origins of man I can do so but I do not believe in the Christian ethos of such. Instead I shrug and my brain starts singing Babylon...I am so sped. and who needs an IPOD with this personal soundtrack.

luhval

thank you kate for the wonderful time in Louisville. I saw five plays this weekend....had more culture and beer and wine than I have all year. do y'all know that bars in louisville are open til 4am. (yep now I am saying y'all surely that is what living in the south and then a getting a little too close to kentucky can do to you.)

other stuff:
school started back up yesterday but I dropped my monday class due to mental overload. something about dr's appt, hangover residue, rain and cold, reaffirming my lovely C+ is the "correct grade", finding out from my oh so thorough doctor that my thyroid seems enlarged and being told that I am awfully moley and should visit a dermatologist, coming home and being unable to use my keys to open the outside door to the apartment, standing in the rain, feeling like a moron for not being able to use my keys in the door --but dude they worked yesterday...little bit too long of a day for me.
better
so today I am looking better (I guess), feeling better, aware that there are problems with the profs in my department that I will just have to deal with for another year, aware -thanks to deborah-that my thorough dr.-should not be writing me prescriptions for medication but should instead be asking me to return for tests and should be recommending me to an endocrinologist if it is really something to worry about, further realizing that if she spent more than 5 minutes shooting questions in my direction she would understand that most of my thyroid symptoms are the symptoms of my life....and equal to stress and 2 days of continuous drinking in luaville. la la la....are you still reading, don't you wish I typed slower and used punctuation more. no really ...you love it.
finally
I am pretty sure that my advisor, when speaking about health issues in sped, used the word depository when he meant to say suppository. don't want to know where he does his banking.

talk to you soon, will try to use more punctuation then.

if you are interested

all of my other grades are in.
all A's
and one
C+
starting to feel more crazy now.
making jokes about, but truthfully thinking that, maybe I handed in the wrong paper, or maybe I handed in my paper with a couple pages torn off the back. hmmm.

for Nora on why I won't be attending the Ludlow Pinot tasting...

because you asked amy and because it made you laugh...here is some for posterity
Amy-
you know, I liked Sideways but when you mention that story, I think
I'll need to avoid wine tastings for a while. Kind of like after that
episode of Seinfeld, when you were waiting at the movies, everyone was
saying, "No this is this ticket HOLDER'S line." Apparently, the
movie has done a lot for Pinot Noir, and at first I didn't like that I
would look trendy when ordering it, as I have been rocking the pinot
for years. But now I'm just happy because I can get pinot by the
glass everywhere. I know that was really interesting.

Nancy-
I feel the same about the Pinot. and I am indebted to you for
introducing me to it
the pretention gets old especially cause michael likes table red wine
and if given the choice buys carlo rossi piasano by the jug. so it is annoying
to hear people say things like "oh that place only had table wine."
dude a cheap red is great for a big spaghetti dinner. better than
wasting a tasty red with ragu when it can of course be enjoyed more
with some chex mix and bad tv.

and so ...I am indebted to amy for the pinot noir, her to me for the red zin, me to uncle bob and my dad for the red zin...which makes me remember the first time I tried it after a holiday meal, my dad kept saying "do you want to try some zinfindel?" and I kept saying "no, gross, what is wrong with you" the men insisted it was wonderful...I had no idea there was a red zinfindel and I thought if these two crazy men kept trying to force pink wine on me because I was a girl I was going to get really pissed. then I realized....RED zinfindel....what a wonderful thing. this wine packs a punch, it beats up your mouth. yum

so amy did you ever try the little penguin? so cheap and so tasty.
and nora, wine tastings ...we should do one with the wine at my house right now...that way we can polish off the bottles we like in the name of tasting with no need to swirl and spit.

more momism (on a better note)

what is a better note? is it sweeter sounding?

anyway here are the good things.
two other grades I have so far ...both A's...thought they were going to be A minuses so that is cool

HIGHLY exciting news. Michael got accepted to the Aspen Music Festival for film scoring. this is awesome. They only invite 6 students. Unfortunately he did not receive a scholarship so we need to do some creative banking to make it happen. Fear not it will happen.

Due to the impeding film scoring extravaganza Michael is thinking of switching to Mac (woo hoo) also highly expensive but so much fun...more new geeky stuff)

Final momism for the day. (you may not realize but most words that come out of my mouth are really my mothers and that is what prompted these titles so...) "the more you do the more you wanna do" I am living testimony to this as I am doing nothing but sitting my futon and contemplating drinking away my C+. But really it is true. tonight we are having nora and quinn for BBQ beef sandwiches and then off to the Blue Wisp to see the Big Band.

BBQ sandwich recipe
chuck roast-trim off the disgusting edges
toss in crockpot on low
add
can tomato soup
water
BBQ sauce from bottle
some ground black pepper
optional
add onions, garlic, other seasonings

cook on low for 6-8 hours. break apart beef with fork. serve on soft potato buns.
and finally if you are nancy, fix yourself some veggie burrito from last night because...I don't eat this stuff.

on a rant (and other appropriated momisms)

so I am a complete freak and my hands shaking because my unofficial grade reports have a C+ listed for my autism class. (is blogging about school taboo, like blogging about work? I don't really care I am going to do it anyway) This class was a serious waste of my time. One of those experiences where I felt like I had the book knowledge before I entered and I wish these doctorates of education and their twittering teaching assistants would try to find some actual real life knowledge to impart. Well, there were several guest speakers some useful (real life classroom techniques) some painful (alternative therapies-now don't get me wrong I love homeopathy but again do I need a 45 slide powerpoint? or can I just read about them online? especially when it is acknowledged that you are not a medical professional and you don't want to pass on your opinions then you do through anecdotal stories of your adult autistic son...how cute almost right up there with another prof. who has been known to show a video from the cancelled [thank god] tv show "it's a miracle" prefaced by the statement that if this doesn't make you cry then you should be going into special ed. look buddy it doesn't make me cry and that is exactly why I should be going into special ed. to kick the ass of all you pansies who spend the day oohing ahhing and having a pity party with the CP kids. I'm here to kick some ass get it.[yikes long parenthetical rant])
so needless to say I am throat chokingly angry at the audacity of this prof. who did not give us any grades this quarter or provide us with any feedback. this is a college of education, doesn't that seem like the exact opposite of what they should be "modeling" (in teacher speak)

books

did I tell you I have putting up the books I am reading on xanga? well now that I am in spring break for real I am plowing through the novels.
check out this site for the details with amazon links

http://www.xanga.com/nfancie

also please leave me any suggestions
I will be off to the library tomorrow.

also let me know if you want any I will stick them in the mail when I am through or walk them over if you are in cincinnati.

hi mom!

so I just got an email from my mom
asking me what blogs were because they had been all over the news and she felt like it was getting to be ubiquitous and she felt out of the loop for not knowing.
I must be in a weird mood.
I told her what they were and told her I would send her some links to ones she might find amusing. Then with little thought I sent her a link to mine.
so
Hello MOM!
everyone say hey to my mom-everyone being my ~5 friends who check this out occasionally.
enjoy.

jolly rancher

my brain is much too fried to write anything real

here are some things:
-my car smells like a watermelon jolly rancher (if you would like your car to smell similarly send me an email and your address and I will send you a leaf that smells uncannily like a jolly rancher)
-michael and I cleaned out junk from the whole apartment (it is bad when he promotes my weekend procrastination) 4 bags of clothes and house stuff out to the goodwill
-still have one more final to write (I hope I can pull it off tomorrow afterwork and make it worth handing in so that I don't have to take and incomplete and feel guilt the entire time I am in Michigan)
-I am going to Michigan for spring break (who the hell goes to Michigan for springbreak? apparently I do...wine tastings, massages, and a cheesy looking B&B[yay a floral motif])
-I wish I had friends near here to go over to their houses and sit on their couches and moan when I am feeling as Bleh as I have been feeling all week.
-you know you are pathetic when an 85% on a paper that you spent no time writing is enough to bum out your whole afternoon-how pathetic (when did I switch from the blase student I was to the anal retentive freak I am? I missed that switch I bet that it happened about the same time as the purchase of the itchy wool waist pants...ugh)
-I ditched the sad looking cilantro, but the other herbs are doing well, and tasting lovely in my dinners. (Michael bought me a new cilantro that is just as sad as my old one or maybe worse...its the though that counts and all that....maybe I will chop up the entire thing while it is still green and use it before I kill it ...not that it has much further to go.

broken

stupid thing is broken and people can't leave comments
don't know why
but if you love me remember that I am entering finals week and send me some love.
-nancy

finals

tonight when I got home from class I ran the tub and grabbed one of the books amy sent me so that I could relax for a couple minutes in the bath. I didn't want anything too brainy so I thought a novel would do me some good for a couple minutes. amy, apparently the post it note you affixed to the jodi picoult book ...not the sister one the one about the murder suicide... well even the post it note clearly marked this book sucks! could not dissuade me. I must be leaking brain cells from my ears because I also saw a blue tag on the book that proclaimed this book will soon be a Lifetime movie. and still I thought it might be just what I needed to come down after a 2 1/2 hour class on early language development. I read about 3-4 pages in before it got so bad I had to stop. Then I flipped to the last page to see how it ended. then I flipped around in the middle to see if I could find a point of reason somewhere in the plot. The only thing I could find was a brief mention of the girl's depression and how the boy knew she was a cutter, after she came to him, after he knocked up the blond cantaloupe breasted cheerleader... ugh. I feel dumber having spent 5 minutes of my life with that book in my hand. I can't give it to anyone now and I feel bad even bringing it to the goodwill. I think it might have to just go right in the trash. If I don't set fire to it on the stove. Well, It was a good incentive to get back to writing papers.

p.s. the other jodi picoult book was not nearly this offensive. even though the 13 year old thought in a very metaphoric manner that did not ring true to me for someone 13. also killing her off was such a 13 year old way to get an ending out. it is something we would have done in the books we started to write at 12. the ones about the kids at the beach. we could have written summerland or the OC but with tweens. but what do I know. I'm sped.

the only good thing...

about my weekend thus far is that I bought (rather Michael bought for me) 5 herbs that are growing in pots. I now am the proud owner of a sage, a parsley, a chive, a oregano, and a very sad looking cilantro. I am highly disappointed in the sad state of the cilantro as it is my new favorite herb. (this can be atested to by the folks who watched me lick the bowl of Nora's yummy guacomole last night just so I could savor some more cilantroey goodness. Also how cool are friends that make guacomole,salad with apples, strawberries, onions, and a balsamic-ricotta dressing, paella, and bananas foster on a friday night. Nora and Quinn rock my world.
Matthew just remains a puzzle. Anyone that after a couple glasses of wine spontaneously jumps up and says "lets do charades" and proceeds to get the members of the household to get the charade "The 2nd law of thermodynamics" in less than 3 minutes, is probably not from this planet. What remains is the concept that he hates mimes (or professes to) as much as the rest of us, and yet later in the evening he roused us again figure out the charade "Planet of the Apes 5: Battle for the Planet of the Apes". I can't even begin to think about how his brain works...only that I am glad there is someone like him in the world (even though one is enough)

wish me luck on my herbs. I really don't have any sunlight here and I give little hope to the cilantro.

also who the hell plays charades anymore. I felt like a dickens character.

crazy people who steal from me

so someone in my building (of only 5 apartments)keeps stealing my laundry detergent. Like I said it is a small building and there is a coin-op washer and dryer in the basement that everyone uses. There is a counter set up with everyone's detergent and dryer sheets marked with apartment numbers in sharpie pen (because we can't be expected to remember which brand we bought)
The first time it happened we had just come back from the store and had not yet labeled the bottle. good people that we are we saw the error of our ways and the next bottle we bought I labeled (A LOT) I put our number all over the bottle and the lid and I even wrote a little note from the detergent asking people not to use it because this particular detergent thought me and michael were pretty nice folks that didn't deserve to be screwed around with. Now I ask you. What kind of a sick person takes laundry detergent that talks?
I feel like I have been transported back to my days with passive aggressive psycho Julie. Dude, neighbors...if you need to borrow some detergent just ask its no big deal...but don't steal our stuff. We are very busy students on very low funds. We don't have the dollars to go buying bottles of detergent every week. Not even the really cheap store brand bottles. also how sad is it that you steal the cheap store brand bottles that we buy and not the other neighbors fancy Tide and Whisk.
As we speak Michael is going door to door to implore our neighbors not to take our stuff or maybe to scare them silly so they do not steal stuff again. now he is back and has had no luck but the people in number three were home but did not come to the door. hmmm. number three the only apartment that we don't know the people...
Any suggestions will be helpful and welcome. Right now we will have to wait to buy some more before we can do laundry, then we will have to keep the detergent in the apartment and carry it up and down 4 flights of stairs everytime we put it a new load. well I will try to be a glass half full girl and say...I guess it will build up my arms grr.

these things are so stupid

but kate needs mail...so if you feel the motivation copy it and send your back to her....hey copy me too because I need to procrastinate
1. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? From Neurons to Neighborhoods-a government report on early childhood development
2. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 12:55am
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have one yay for the laptop
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? not much of a boardgame girl, but I did play Parcheesi last night with Quinn
5. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?all of em...addicted to the glossy goodness of fashion mags, but enjoy prevention and the mom magazines on the coffee table at home just as much
6. BABIES? um...sean francis?
7. FAVOURITE SOUND? guiro-wooden rhythm instrument yay!
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? anxiety
9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING? I'm hungry
10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? as many as it takes to find where I left it usually my coat pocket
11. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: because I banned michael from naming future kids michael probably michaela
12. FAVOURITE COLOUR? blue
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE? love
14. FAVOURITE FOOD? bread
15. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? indeed, but have slowed down considerably after my court summons and with my dwindling student bank account
17. SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? michael
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? cool, if I'm indoors
19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1986 chevy nova
20. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? not sure...
21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? red wine-a shiraz perhaps (love the little penguin) or a chianti
22. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?two camping chairs and a blanket
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? singer, or artist can I do both? -also I guess I should want to be a teacher since I am paying all of this money to go to school for that
25. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Quinn, cause he told me he wanted to read mine but said he wouldn't send one back
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? still am
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? half-empty
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? mostly, but not the numbers
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? summer clothes and lost socks
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? 8
32. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Basketball
33. SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO
SENT THIS TO YOU? Katie's an angel...(sometimes) but really she is so cool and has the coolest job and is a tough girl that I love very very very much
34. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? I second the beach thought
35. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? fuzzy soft blue socks
that make me slide around the hardwood in the apartment
36. BEACH, MOUNTAINS OR CITY? Beach
37. TECHNOLOGY OR ART? art
38. COMEDY OR HORROR? Comedy....sometimes
39. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX? shoulders I guess
40. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY? when classes are over
41. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I don't buy CD's I wait for cool people to burn me mixes
43. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? butt (never knew the value of a good butt massage til physical therapy for the hips)
44. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? depends on your occupation
45.WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? in 8 minute increments from 6:45 to 7:45 on weekdays.
46. What's YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN ITEM? my new whisk....or maybe my speedy wine opener or my fatty wooden spoon and definitely the dishwasher...I like the kitchen
47. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? practically everything but mostly ignorance and arrogance
48. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR 4x4? Sports car--but I'd rather have a new civic hybrid, b/c (my name is rain and this is my dress made of wheat)
49. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? on occasion
50. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? Summer
51. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? freezing people or time or something like that or the iceman thing where he makes those little ice highways to slide around on
52. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?nope
53. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Not even a little bit.
54. WHAT\'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? some imaginary good day that is perpetually about 5 years away
55. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? sushi apparently its what evil tastes like yum wasabi
56. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO\'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? michael
57. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Katie. She rules
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON? the tom & jerry where they run the water in the sink and open the refrigerator and turn the kitchen into a skating rink and use the jello mold as a light gel
59. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE MEAL? sushi, or chinese, or cool stuff that I cook....yum. food.
60. IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD IT BE? I think I would like to go sailing in the Mediterranean
61. DO YOU HAVE PETS? not yet.

welcome

everyone give a shout out to Dave. (everyone being the three other people that read this)
not sure it is a good idea to tell my family about my blog but you know I was never good at keeping my mouth shut.
anyway, how cool is it to read your name on the INTERNET?!! huh?

tonight was insane marxist theories. that class is so convoluted I have no idea how my final will turn out. luckily the prof does not believe in the normal curves and gives good grades for showing up and showing that you have a brain and can use it to read and form your own opinions.

part 1: My personal soundtrack* (why my personal soundtrack sucks)**

"say goodbye to hollywood, say goodbye my baby...say goodbye to hollywood, say goodbye my baby"

how much does it suck to have obscure billy joel in my head at work.
I totally wish I could change stations. the worst thing about my personal soundtrack is that it has no reference. I can't remember the last time I actually listened to any billy joel, so how I have no idea how it attaches itself to my brain in the middle of the work day.

I guess I should be thankful that today it is not showtunes (like yesterday...."everthins up to date in Kansas city")

*if you are new to the concept of my personal soundtrack it is the music that is in my head almost 24/7. I can turn it off if suitably occupied, in class, at a movie, other great music can help. but it is like my brain needs more activity than I can provide during work, so if I do not have music it will provide some. I think this explains my fascination with movie soundtracks. can you imagine the excitement if my life was accompanied aloud by my personal soundtrack? unfortunately most times it is not accurate to the mood of real life.

** this is probably part one of a series...just in case the soundtrack ever gets cool, you too can be in on the action. dance party baby.

slacker....but I can cook

so tonight I did no homework none, not even a little, haven't even opened a book
but I did make veggie burritos. half way through I realized that we didn't have salsa and the salsa container in the fridge was one michael was re-using to hold hot sauce. but I solved that ...so here is what I did.
I kept in separate containers so that when alyssa came she could pick and choose what she like and how much
first
sauteed a sliced green pepper and red pepper, a finely chopped clove of garlic, and an onion in some olive oil. also added a finely chopped jalapeno. I was not feeling too spicy tonight so I took out the seeds. added some fresh cilantro and some oregano...yum. cook but make sure veggies stay slightly crispy.
then
quick cook rice add chopped cilantro and mix
then
mash two + avocados with lime juice some chopped jalapeno and salt...yummy
then
empty a can of black beans into a pan with their liquor (I read that in a cook book, doesn't it sound better than bean goop) season with cilantro, cumin, cayenne, chilis until it smells and tastes yummy.
finally
the salsa I forgot slammed together quickly. I already used all the peppers in the saute oops so. this is....1 large chopped tomato, 1/2 chopped onion, more chopped cilantro (its in everything yay!) another jalapeno, again leave in seeds if you want it spicy. I squeezed in some lime juice and added a little ketchup. the ketchup is good because it makes the less than ripe tomatoes better, it also adds just the right amount of sugar and vinegar to make the salsa taste good fast without having to sit around and meld together the flavors of everything.
grate some cheddar or jack cheese, and put out some sour cream and things are ready to go.
all you have to do is nuke some burrito wrappers then you can just move down the line and create your own veggie burrito to taste....
this is fast and you can make a ton and have leftovers.
the only thing that takes a little while is the chopping and it goes a lot faster if you don't have to make salsa.
the other thing I forgot was lettuce...but I didn't have a replacement for that.

not that I think I am special....

but I keep having these minor breakdowns trying to get 4 classes worth of work done over the weekend. I feel like the people I am hanging out with (stupid CCM) just have time to do what they like and I start to feel bitter about having a day job. Then what I realized this weekend was the only thing I ever really get done is that which is immediately due monday night. sad that it took me 7 weeks into a 10 week quarter to figure out that gem. the rough part is not having any time to do anything fun. (or even do any laundry --now that is sad) I keep making plans and thinking I will have fun on the weekend and then the enormity of the work I need to accomplish smacks me in the head and I start to cancel plans and pout about how overwhelming it all is. This leads to forced inactivity. Where not only do I have more to accomplish in two days than is humanly possible but I also am sitting on the futon with a book open on my lap thinking about day time tv and wishing I had better cable.
my new wisdom is existentialism...which I can never seriously embrace as I am obsessed with time and with my grades. so instead I will just try to finish my papers the day before they are due and have the usual meltdown during the week before finals week. do you remember going to school when you used to get a couple days off before finals for studying...yeah that doesn't exist anymore. and for grad school all of my final projects are due the week before finals. ( I think the profs are lazy and don't want to grade these long ass projects over one weekend when grades are due in on monday)
so along with a meltdown last weekend I went to a piano recital, went hiking and to the cool ben folds concert. I also did all my reading for monday and my presentation. not too bad. now I just have to get on it for the stuff due wednesday....

jealous?

I went to see Ben Folds last night.
The show was really good.

ouch

can somebody advise me how to deal with wedding stuff
without hurting anyone's feelings or bothering anyone?

I really want to skip the whole thing and elope but I think that will piss off more people (including michael) than holding an actual event.

I hate the whole idea of the actual event especially the ungodly sums of money that I will either owe a credit card company or get from the parents.

ack.
I don't even want to think about it.
bleh

why I am marrying this guy

because I have been mildly pouty all night.
he sits beside me and kisses my neck and doesn't even complain when I accidently elbow him in the neck...I meant to hit the shoulder.
he gets up to make himself a drink and offers to get me something
he opens a bottle of the yellow tail shiraz and gets me a glass before he makes his drink.
I really like this boy.

the week thus far...in a disjointed manner

I don't update on here, yet I obsessively check other blogs I read. It is the only thing left I can use to procrastinate other than eating and sleeping.
I have things going on in my life. things other than the usual eating, sleeping, working, class, and homework. things that make my body thrum inside with something between anxiety and anticipation. I want to write about things but have been reminded recently that things that I talk about, that I feel connected to and obliterated or driven by are not always my things alone to talk about...so existential crises aside...
I guess if I was truly aware I would be feeling this feeling all the time. because what happens in our lives is fragile and easily changed, however it is difficult to remember things can change when you exist in the routine of work and school and sleep.
food
too busy or too lazy to cook. yesterday was chipotle...mmmm. because I didn't have any cilantro at home, I needed to go out.
last night I went to bed very early to see if it would make today better. I set my alarm for 5:45pm accidently and then woke up at 7:30am, so that didn't really work.
I hate the feeling of guilt that accompanies an evening wherein I sit on the couch and have a beer instead of writing a paper. maybe I should have had beer and a paper. maybe I should have another and start that paper now.

food

I finally got out of bed (due to hunger) so me and michael cooked like crazy. we made some more bruschetta as a snack and to use up the cherry tomatoes, and Michael made some mushroom soup. (He is still experimenting with that recipe but I will post it when we have it down.) Then I made a pie. Here is the recipe for that one. I will call it apple pie with anchorage pie crust because I got the crust recipe from the mother of a former work study student in my office at Duke. I can't remember her name ...wait no...I think her name was Kelly, but all I remember is her mom made good pies. Kelly didn't know you could buy a slice of pie or a whole pie at the store until college. She thought they were something you had to make...so here is the recipe because I know you are tired of my unpunctuated ranting

2 c. flour
1 tsp. salt (I used sea salt this time)
2/3 a cup shortening (visually separated into 3 parts fill 2 with shortening and 1 with unsalted butter)
5-7 T. very very cold water (add 5 then see if you need more)

mix ingredients with a pastry cutter (I don't have one of these so I use two knives or a fork but I lust after pastry cutters and other kitchen gadgets that I will one day register for if I ever set a date for the wedding) form into a ball. try not to touch it or play with it more than you have to or it will get tough. break into two equal size pieces and wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate.

core & peel 4-6 granny smith apples and slice thin. make sure to slice out that hard part in the middle it is not nice to get in your mouth later. mix slices in a bowl with 2/3-3/4 c. sugar, tsp. cinnamon, dash of nutmeg and 2T flour. you can also make a prettier pie by layering the apple slices with the sugar mixture...but I was too lazy for that tonight.

roll out the dough (this is tricky but like I told michael when he tried this for the first time tonight. the ingredients are good and the pie will taste good even if it is not martha stewart perfect) keep the counter and the rolling pin (or for pathetic people like me in college old wine bottle or pint glass) lightly covered in flour. this is like play-doh...it will stick to itself so be careful. if it gets bad you can always scrape it up with a spatula and stick it together in places with some warm water.

lay one section in the pie pan, pour in the apple mixture. lay the other section on top. be as martha as you like here on the edges, the easiest thing to do is press it together with a fork. make some vents in the top for steam to escape. again if you want to get fancy you can brush the top with egg wash (1 egg yolk, 1T water mixed) this will make the top shiny. or you can put some granulated sugar on top. or both.

let me know how it goes or if you have any questions.
suggestions-use more cinnamon if you like...I am not a cinnamonny kind of girl
use other types of apples...I like the granny smiths for everything because they are sour. most people suggest them for pies but you may want to use something else.
mine just came out of the oven...I will let you know how it tastes as soon as it cools.

the weekend (in a nutshell)

which always makes me picture disney chip and dale chipmunks paddling down a stream in a nutshell.

Friday night I got my tax return and my paycheck and proceeded to spend gobs of money on a lovely dinner out with friends and then went to see Julianna in the play Oleanna. It was nice to do something cultural for a change, as my usual friday night consists of drinking until I fall asleep, eating junkfood and hanging out with friends (wow I love those friday nights...mmm, junk food)
Oleanna was thought provoking but with some stilted language. it would be good to read the play.

Saturday was an exciting day of scrubbing the bathroom and writing a paper on the nature of cognitive develop ( I know you wish you had my life) the high point was a trip to the grocery store where I spent even more money but have so much food to show for it in a typically american over consumer fashion.

Today: I have spent the entire day in bed. except for brief bathroom breaks and a foray into the kitchen for food (yum fresh berries in vanilla yogurt with walnuts and granola, hot tea with cream and sugar mmmm) This is not to say that I am not getting things done. Of course I am that is what the laptop is for. I have completed a powerpoint presentation on organizational methods for the child with autistic spectrum disorder and moved all of my files off of the other computers and onto this computer. The bedroom is a good place to work because there is no tv here so I am not sucked into an E! true hollywood stories and there is a door so I can block out the sounds of the movie michael is scoring (Core, it is highly exciting did you ever see it? don't)

I feel like I should get out and do more exciting things. I do live in a city even if it is Cincinnati, yet I also am coming to terms with the fact that I will never be able to complete all of my school work even if I never watch tv again.

Hope your weekends were good and filled with yummy food and drink.

tonight

I went to class and felt disconnected and confused. my prof talks to the class of forty people as if we are ten people and wants feedback, but mouthy me doesn't know what to do. I want to jabber and write down stuff to send him an email later about all the things I am thinking in class and the questions I have but the material is so complicated it is all I can do to hang on to the edge. I wish it was a seminar size instead of this stupid mass lecture. I wish at my age I knew how to connect to people in some sort of meaningful way. Meaningful enough so that I would not have to feel like I was asking for someones first born child when I wanted a recommendation.

other stuff:
I went to Leanne's viola recital this evening. It was good. I need to do more for me. More art and enjoying things outside of my living room.
This Friday we are going to a play, so that is a good start, also that way I will have saturday and sunday for 2 papers and a presentation.

We made Bruschetta tonight. Usually I use more fresh ingredients but this is the pared down recipe.

~1 1/2 pints cherry or grape tomatoes halved
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp basil
2 cloves fresh garlic smashed and chopped fine
1/4c. romano fresh grated
1/4 c. parmesan from the shaker
pinch of thyme
1/2 tsp sea salt
1 tsp ground pepper
1/4 tsp sugar
3-4 T extra virgin olive oil
2 T balsamic vinegar
2 T red wine vinegar

mix this together in a bowl. all measurements are approximate because I didn't measure anything. I would usually use fresh basil and fresh mozzarella too, but I did not have any, so grind the dried herbs in your palm to get them going before you toss in. Taste as you go. Sugar is optional, more necessary in winter when the tomatoes aren't as fantastic.

slice a loaf of french bread into slices, thinner if you want them crispier. spray or brush olive oil on both sides of toasts and broil for approx. 10 minutes or until golden and of desired crispiness.

take hot breads (crostinis) out of the oven. take a clove of garlic, peel and slice in half. lightly rub the garlic on the crostinis. If you are not a garlic lover skip this step the garlic taste will permeate the bread in a fantastic way but awfully strong if you are not a garlic lover.

open a fantastic bottle of red wine, light red candles, put tomato mixtures on bread and toast the Chinese New Year with all your lucky red colored foods.*

*I know nothing about the chinese new year other than it is today and red is a lucky color.


Tell me how it goes if you make it and how the amounts are. It will definitely help with the christmas cookbook

recipes

by the way,
I will be starting to post recipes soon
so try them out and then tell me if I screwed up on the amounts or if you added something that made it spectacular. that way when I am poor and jobless next year I can give my family & friends a kick ass cookbook for christmas!

so look for them...


they are coming....

a la dooce I am: Feeling Guilty

because I think I am going to stay home and work on my midterm and make some dinner (read watch bad day time tv) instead of volunteering at an afterschool program. but really the guilt is good, it will make me more apt to go next week. (APT! random inappropriate lisa simpson reference that I couldn't bear to leave out)

michael is a wonderful boy and spent an One and a half hours at walmart while the guys tried to find the nail in my tire that kept making it go flat at inopportune times (is there ever an opportune time)

apparently I am very punchy today.

Nora we still have lots of leftovers so if you want to come over for dinner and bring that boy you hang out with that's cool. anyone else I know in cincy can come too, but if lots of people come I might have to actually cook something.

because you care

Last night I had a dream where I was in high school. Michael was there (in a very arbitrary sort of way). It was all drama, and choir, and lunch. Lorelei Gilmore and Katherine Hepburn (older) were in the school play and I was supremely pissed that I was not. skulking around backstage and trying to sneak into the fancy shmancy velvet seats auditorium.

When I woke up, I told Michael I dreamed I was in High School...

He said he did too. (his dream included math, english, science etc.)

weird.

superbowl

YAY! eggles! (no that's not a typo it is a fluffia way of pronunciation...thank you amy)
so YAY! EAGLES!
boo...language development midterms.

last night I got my drink on with Alyssa, Nora, Quinn something like 3 bottles of wine...yum...cheesy dip. and now I must get to work, so I can minimize the amount of time I need to do homework during the game.

eaten

blogger just ate a post I wrote about my torrential mood swings.
my abilities to get homework done
michael's impending family doom and possible inheritance of some accordians
how I will miss our weekend rituals
how life sucks when you don't have the food network on tv to watch while you do papers on the couch.

that sums it up.


oh and also I am on a mood swing sugar kick, Dr. Pepper and poptarts for breakfast and a twix for a post lunch snack.
tonight may warrant a break out of the emergency brownies.
do you have a box of these in your cupboard? you should.

trying to gain some clarity...thinking I'd rather have another glass of wine

I am sitting on my futon and feeling at ease. with a bowl of chili and a corn muffin in my tummy and a glass of wine by my side (the fat bastard chardonnay). I am watching tv and it is my nice good relaxing night of the week. the only one I have. I spent it doing my taxes ugh, and filling out my financial aide forms for next year...again I am a highly exciting person. I need friends. I love to be alone and I have friends spread about the US, but no one who I know will come and play with me on a tuesday in Cincinnati. I talked to lili yesterday and I really need to follow up with dance classes we can take because if I don't start moving soon my body will mummify and the slow steady stream of alcohol will just help.
yesterday I had a minor meltdown after coming home from work. crying for no reason or maybe too many reasons. I am having trouble keeping up with school to my liking, which is not the same as really having problems and keeping up with life. I wake up minutes before I need to leave and race around the apartment wishing I had more time to boil and steep my tea....more time to iron and choose my clothes, and more time to just sit and breath by myself.
I like to be alone but I am cocooning myself in the apartment in a false effort to do schoolwork and really I am just watching bad tv and wishing my living room was filled with the people I used to know, in what seems like another lifetime.


also-I am so tired of trying to pretend I am smart or maybe insightful in posts to blackboard regarding our future roles as educators or therapists and how we will provide everything within our power to students, think outside of the box to give this child the best services possible. while I feel this is an important point I am tired of talking about it. At some point we must stop being idealists and become materialists making a difference in our world in a real way. I am currently just making a dent in the futon and wishing it was a comfy couch.

want to come over for wine and cookies? that doesn't go right? well A- you can have vanilla soymilk and I can have bread and cheese and it will all work out. take a road trip and come to see me soon. spring break starts March 21st.